I spend a lot of time pondering over my ability to procrastinate, put off, or sabotage my own attempts to do stuff, and I have come to the conclusion that there must be a greater force at work. Call it karma.. call it some hybrid of Murphy's Law.. or call it 'Shut up your whingeing and be positive for a change, Tracey'...

But here are some of the universal laws that seem to be apply to me lately.

Commitment to exercise will be rewarded with a hurdle.

* In March, post Big Ride, I made a pact with a friend about exercise, and was getting right into it. Then I tore a tendon in my calf - just walking down 2 steps!
* In August I made pacts with other would-be weight losers, and started walking determinedly every day. I instantly came down with a bad cough/cold (and my father in law's funeral.)
* I have been running the cross country, improving my time, but pay back is that my hip is playing up.

Commitment to doing something about a long standing 'family' job will be rewarded with a hurdle.

* I finally decided I had to take the plunge and get the ball rolling for house extensions without having Marc here. I set up an appointment with a building designer that we know. The morning of the appointment he rang to postpone it.. and hasn't rung back since.

(I know this seems trivial ["Welcome to the real world, Tracey. Life is like that.] but I am fighting off this lethargy/lack of confidence/borderline depression here, and I could use a bit of positive reinforcement.)

Commitment to voluntary work will inevitably lead to someone undermining what you have done, or are trying to do.

Want to know why I don't do much at the school anymore? That's why. And you won't see me back in the canteen any time soon.

Commitment to voluntary work leads to greater expectations of you than you really wanted to give in the first place.

(self explanatory, really)


On a lighter note, BIG QUESTIONS:

Have you ever noticed that when you decide you like a certain item or brand, it will inevitably be discontinued?

Why, when you know what you should and shouldn't eat, and even though you so bloody want to lose a few kilos, do you sabotage yourself with stuff like 'just a bit of butter won't hurt'... or 'this chocolate bar won't really hurt.. I'll be in a better mood after I've eaten it, and thus more able to face the challenge of losing weight.' ?

Why do we bother vacuuming/mopping floors etc when 5 mins later, the kids will come home and drop crap all over it?