Well, no, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I just can't get out from underneath the avalanche of retail store catalogues that engulf my letterbox each day. (And I thought it was the digital age... hah.... Bloody Christmas....)

Seriously? Blogging has just taken a back seat - as I threatened - throughout the latter part of the year. Counter productive, really, as I will have lost what small readership I actually had. And writing keeps rearing its ugly head as one of the things I want to do, so it has made no sense to back off, really.

It has been a time of trying to reinvent myself - work out who I am and what I want to be. (*gag*) Actually it's been more like leaving what small amount of course work I had to do till the last minute, then panicking and getting stressed about it. As always with it I turn molehills into mountains, aim for a higher quality than I need to (for a Certificate II course), and can't get past the reality vs 'pretend just for the exercise' parts. (So the last things I am stressing over are a resume and an application letter...)

I am riding the 'what to do when I grow up' rollercoaster in the funpark of life. One minute on a high, and full of boundless enthusiasm- with the track mapped out ahead of me (and propped up by wonderful analogies of only needing to look ahead to the next station, or checkpoint- can you tell I went to see the TAFE careers counsellor?). Next thing I'm plummeting back down into Reality Check land. And 'I Could Never Be THAT Good' Valley.

And, as we all know, roller coaster rides usually take you back round to where you started, and I feel as if that's where this course has taken me. Right back to the insecurities that I had when I started. Why make me research job descriptions for potential (slightly pie in the sky) jobs? I'm a good enough googler these days to manage to uncover a mass of opinion out there, and of course I am very good at taking everything I read to heart, despite the fact that I know it is someone else's OPINION only.

Quite a bit of the self confidence spilt out of that brim-full glass somewhere along the way ...

Anyhows, I have applied to do a one year (Certificate IV) course in Information Technology- Website Design. Which should take care of next year. And hopefully equip me with enough skillz to at least be able to say "I can build/design websites. Wanna pay me?" And as an adjunct I want to pick up some tips and/or tuition in Freelance Writing. And anything else I can think of...

Meanwhile, the house has been going yet further into rack and ruin, and I keep thinking "Once the course is over I'll get on top of that." Yeah, right.

The family, throughout, has still been fed and watered, and clothes washed (though not necessarily sorted and very definitely not ironed - I iron as needed anyway...) Have been floundering around and getting D's at best in Parenting of Teenagers 101. Eldest daughter has decided we are the world's most unreasonable and overprotective parents - and her view is reflected in assumptions made about how we will view ANYTHING. Never mind that she has just spent 5 nights away in Sydney to participate in the Schools Spectacular. We are just such bastards like that.

I got to fly down to Sydney to go see the show - just this last weekend - and had three nights at my parents'. It was good to have a few days away from the house and all those depending on me to decide what to have for dinner, and to magically (and eventually) ensure that the dishes are clean... But I have come back with a cricked neck (I blame the spare bedding/pillow arrangement at my parents' house) - and so it is off to the chiropractor yet again for me in the morning. There is always something annoying wrong with me. When I got back yesterday I was motivated to tackle some vacuuming of this disgusting house, but that energy seems to have worn off today. Somehow.

With one thing and another, I haven't done much exercise, and it is showing - both visually, and in my head.

And I haven't done a bloody thing for Christmas. I wonder if I could get away with ignoring it altogether...

Labels: daily

Thankfully this week I haven't actually felt like strangling anyone, so there's a plus. (Except for the usual amount of times I get stroppy with the kids, but that's nothing out of the ordinary.) Possibly I've just hit the next stage on the hormonal rollercoaster, with this last week being defined more by introspection than anything else.

My lower back decided last weekend it was time to give me a bit of curry. It does so from time to time for no apparent reason. A chiro visit on Monday helped... but in the early hours of Thursday morning my left arm decided to get in on the act and go the whole nerve-pinching pain thing, so I haven't been on top of the world. A chiro visit yesterday has helped that - but I'm not quite myself again yet. (And I keep thinking that I'm certainly contributing to the chiropractor's superannuation fund, if not a new car or two.) I've not exercised all week because of the back and arm, and so a happy little vegemite I am not.

At TAFE I'm in the process of deciding what to do next year. It's a part of the course I'm doing to do so, but it's also what I need to do anyway. I've applied to do a one year course in Information Technology (Web Design). I *think* it's what I want to do when "I grow up", but I guess I'm not 100% sure. On Thursday I decided to use the counselling service at TAFE - they do careers counselling as well as the personal stuff. Hell, it's free, why not? My first session was helpful - and I'm going back next week. Perhaps she will help me unearth whatever it is within that tells me I can't do stuff - though I'm not completely sure about the airy fairy stuff.

The oldest teenager is doing the girl with the curl thing, and when she's not being good and helpful and lovely, she is being dramatic, and accusative, (and unhelpful) and we are apparently unreasonable and over protective parents who are going to scar her for life because we are following the 'no computers in bedroom' line as advised to parents. And we won't/wouldn't let her go to a party at a town 2 hours away... She doesn't bring friends around here because we are, apparently, Embarrassing, (because I dare to engage her friends in a bit of conversation it seems), her sisters are Annoying and she can't get away from any of us in 'our open plan house', despite the fact that she has her own room. Pardon me for just BEING, and for not having a house with rumpus rooms/separate TV rooms and the like. I'm not sure what palaces her friends live in.

The biggest challenge (and preoccupation) at the moment is that we are planning a cycling holiday riding, with other tandem acquaintances, down the east coast of Tasmania - next February. Planning and communication with the other parties has to be done online, and that is proving to be ... interesting. I am about to bite the bullet and book our fares on the Spirit of Tasmania - the ferry between the mainland and Tasmania. We are going to drive to Melbourne (2 day drive from here) and then slum it on the ferry. It looks costly, but by the time we weighed up the cost and hassle of plane fares, with camping gear and tandems, extra accommodation for a family of five, and airport shuttles, the overnight ferry experience won out.

Weighing up the pros and cons of shared costs for the ride has been another challenge altogether. However - it looks like it's going to happen, and .. did I mention?... I'm about to make the booking. Today. Sometime. It is exciting and yet daunting all at the same time. I thrive on the planning of something like this, though at the same time it stresses and consumes me. Today I have reached the point where I am saying to Marc 'So? Do I book it?' Point of no return. A financial investment in another family holiday and adventure. I haven't quite done so.. but sometime later today I will. I WILL.

The planning for that will ebb and flow - until it reaches panic stations in February!

Meanwhile I just have to manage the teenage angst, my own angst - and decisions about where I'm heading with the rest of my life...

And finalising the last requirements for this current course. A few pieces of writing, which should be right up my alley, seeing I want to do something with writing to earn a quid or two, yet I am procrastinating over it all nonetheless. (And a First Aid "exam" on Tuesday.)

And Christmas is around the corner, and that stresses me out like not much else can.

I'm not sure where blogging fits into this, but while I work on reinventing myself, I might just need to vent every now and then. (Is it significant that the word "vent" appears in reinvent?)

When I am not venting, I will inevitably be preoccupied.

Labels: bike riding, daily, parenting, teenagers

I often have days like this. (And I'm not sure it is either a good thing, or particularly 'normal'.) Usually a weekend day following a busy time. A long awaited 'catch up' day at home that I look forward to so much when we are racing around. There is so much I want to do (and should do) , but when I get here, I am just not in the mood to do any of it.

I huff and sigh and loll around the place, all day, and achieve precisely ... nothing. Well, today I did eventually get a couple of small loads of washing on the line (then I left them out there overnight because I got them out so late they didn't dry! )

I finished reading one of Zoe's books with a bit of a lie-in ... and gave myself a headache from reading without my glasses. (Reading books - even kids' ones - is ok isn't it?)

I read a bit of the paper. (Acceptable too?)

I thought maybe I could blog but the sparkling blog repartee was not forthcoming. Finally tonight I have succumbed to blogging anything rather than nothing because at least I might feel I have done something. (And maybe I'll get comments coming in on the email, which will make me feel just slightly loved... or perhaps just "needy"?...)

Perhaps it is just the trough after the roller coaster ride of busy-ness of our past few weekends. Thursday at TAFE I was feeling as if perhaps my coffee (which I was drinking to try to wake myself up) had been laced with sleeping pills. That overwhelming 'why am I so tired?' feeling that gets compounded when you're in a classroom situation staring at a computer screen.

Getting to bed earlier that night alleviated that feeling a bit (though I can't say I achieved much on Friday)...

The smart move would have been to have a big sleep in on Saturday, but I opted to do the early morning community bike ride - knowing full well that if I didn't commit to it (Marc and I took Cait in with her new road bike and did about 35km on our singles) I wouldn't do any exercise all weekend. At least I know myself well in that department. But what I also know about myself is that a 5am start to the weekend will leave me a bit lethargic and directionless unless I have something that I am already committed to doing and keeping my mind off being 'blah'.

Zoe had two friends sleep the night as a belated birthday treat (she turned 10 last Monday - while still in Sydney and being spoilt rotten by Grandma.) This was a big first for her - we are not too big on the whole sleepover thing. I kept it fairly low key and casual, and with one of her friends pronouncing at 9.30 that she was soooo tired because she is usually in bed at around 7.00!!, all three were in bed and apparently asleep by 10.30 when I went up to bed. No giggling, or silliness, or keeping me awake half the night, so I can hardly blame that for my lethargy.

Well, anyway.. tomorrow's another day... and another week begins (in which I have the opportunity to pull myself together and work out how to be more productive.)

My scar.. by the way.. is healing well. ("My scar".. she says... well, I don't really have any other 'battle scars' so I am quite taken with this one.)... It is amazing how the body heals in the space of two weeks.

This was how it looked a couple of days after getting the stitches. (The yellow being betadine, rather than outrageous bruising as I suspect people might have thought given the reactions I got at the time.) I am kind of disappointed now that I didn't get a photo of it pre-stitching. Being on the end of my elbow, I only have the reactions of my kids (and the first aider) to go by with how it looked at the time. Somehow photography wasn't high on the agenda at the time!)




And this is how it looks tonight.



(Aren't elbows funny things to look at?)

.

Labels: daily

We are heading off tomorrow for Sunday's 100km ride - Brisbane to the Gold Coast, "Southbank to Southport". Cross your fingers for us that the weather holds - mind you, it'd be typical for it to rain. It seems to do so every time I venture into Queensland. Some goblin somewhere obviously just likes to hear me do a rant along the lines of 'So much for "Beautiful One Day, Perfect the Next" (Ok, so that link is from the Sunshine Coast, a bit further north of where we are headed.. but it has to be one of the most overused slogans there ever was!)

As it is, the forecast is for 'a shower or two'. Wonderful!

The kids will miss the first day back at school on Monday - and then it's back into the madness. I've not overdone it this week at all (feeling quite guilty that I haven't done much in the way of exercise. I am blaming the big overdose from the first weekend, and the anticipation of this Sunday's effort. (Not to mention the intended 210km the following weekend!)

The kids have had the 'dagging around' holiday they were all so wistful about when we dragged them off cross country skiing in July.. a fairly reasonable mix of slothing about home, and hanging with friends.

Caitlin got all artistic:

Tonight Alison found her mp3 player. She mentioned last week that she 'didn't know where it was' ... and, callous mother that I am, I did the 'lalalalalalalala' thing, because I really, really didn't want to know that she had been careless/taken it to school and lost it/left it somewhere to be stolen.... The kid has a bit of a track record with 'careless' - and 'vagueness'. I also didn't want her father to hear, because then things get very NOISY, to no avail, because when she gets upset, she is even less likely to remember what the hell she might have done with it. With her, I prefer to go with the 'it'll turn up' M.O. to save myself unnecessary stress.

So .... tonight when they were packing for the car trip, things got a bit tense because, obviously, she was going to wish she had her mp3 player. A suggestion was made to look in the pouch behind the passenger seat in the car.

Bingo.

When was it left there? Oh, only back when we did the 100 mile ride. Like, August.

???!!!


And these holidays will be remembered forever after as the time Zoe finally decided she does like riding her own bike after all. Getting her to ride around by herself (like most normal kids her age) has been a bit like pulling teeth. - and we've not made much progress in that department in
two years! I pushed things along a bit yesterday by organising for a friend of hers to bring her bike when she came to play yesterday. It took till after lunch for Zoe to agree to give it a go... but somewhere, sometime during the afternoon, something changed. Today she asked "Can I ride my bike?" I tried not to sound too excited when I said "YES!". And she spent most of the day on it.

It had to happen one day.

Well, guess I'd better go pack a few things, and get to bed.

Labels: daily

Sheesh, I am so easily distracted. I find it hard to focus on the list of things I need to do - and totally crap at prioritising what to do when. So the usual result is not to achieve much at all.

These school holidays I have resented time out of the house, because I can't get done what I need to get done. Yet when I'm home, I'm struggling to achieve what I need to do.

I've been complaining (silently- up there in my head) for days that my grand scheme of putting aside all these things to do 'in the holidays' was a dumb one, because the kids, basically, distract me. (How dare they?!! Rattling around, just BEING there!)

I can't get to the computer when I want to, because one of them will inevitably be on it. I might ask them to move - after all, it is MY computer - but then I am distracted by their grumblings, and fighting over whose turn it is on the kids' computer, yadda, yadda, yadda. I am distracted, in fact, by their mere presence. The other computer is right next to this one, and most of the time there will be one of them tapping away furiously at the keyboard. *taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap* slouched so far down in the chair, I've begun asking if they'd prefer a bed to the ergonomically sound office chair they'd been bought. The fact that they will be, to me, wasting their time on some site like Habbo (which seems to chew up the RAM and make the computer go sloooooooow forever after until a reboot is necessary) or Barbie, or Myspace, along with sixty squillion Messenger chat screens on the go at once, tends to make me irritated.

If I kick them off the computer, they'll turn the TV on.. which distracts me some more. Or (in the case of the youngest only) they will sprawl around reading - a worthy pastime of course, but what about the obesity epidemic, and the fact that there is something inherently wrong with kids who don't just get outside and, I don't know... move around?! They live 150 m from a beach for heaven's sakes!

So today, some fairy godmother or other must have noticed my plight, and, like magic, all three had a call inviting them, spontaneously, to hang with friends. One by one they've vanished. Just like that. *poof*

Woo hoo!

And here I am alone at last! And prowling restlessly, not sure of which project or chore to sink my teeth into. Because whichever one I do, I will be thinking that another really would have been a better choice, a higher priority.

Netball website stuff. BUG website stuff. Teach myself more about website stuff. Science experiment and report for TAFE. Writing pieces for TAFE Language portfolio. Some crazy 'observation' for TAFE "Communication Skills" - "Observe an interaction you have observed between two or more people. Analyse the interaction by explaining what you observed; what interpersonal communication cues you identified and how appropriate they were for he situation." Sheesh, what interaction am I going to 'observe' that I am not involved in?

But the floor is overdue for a vacuum, bathroom needs cleaning BADLY, the freezer needs a defrost (how is that so, I thought it was a frost free frigging fridge?!) the freezer in the fridge in the shed needs defrosting...

... and so on, and so on....

[And noting that none of the above will earn me any money!]

I've booked the maxi taxi for our Melbourne weekend. Does that count?
.

Labels: daily

It's all a-happening. In 48 hours I can crash and burn and words can't describe how much I'm looking forward to doing that. I will have earned it, I believe, after having ridden around and around a velodrome for 24 hours or thereabouts.

As I've hurtled towards this... this... err.. challenge, I have seriously contemplated my sanity, suggested many times that I must have been drugged when I agreed to do it, and generally started working up into full blown anxiety.

I can't actually remember what I signed up to do first - the TAFE course, or the charity ride, but clearly, in hindsight, it has not been an easy or sensible partnership. Not when I also happen to have three children to wrangle the rest of the time.

As this week has loomed I've been muttering "But I need to ride. I need to ride" whenever I was in class, or sitting here researching stuff for presentations. Throw in a week of ill-health, and the panic begins to bubble. The sort of panic you'd get if you were going into an exam without having studied. (Well, some of us might relate to that.. my 15 year old daughter patently doesn't get that feeling, but I won't talk about that issue right now...)

Throw in another couple of days the next week with a kid (youngest) who is unwell and better off at home than school, thus preventing attending class OR cycling, and the anxiety wells...

I have done the TAFE work I needed to do, and put whatever I could on hold to complete over the holidays. (So in reality, I don't have much time to crash and burn after the ride at all!)

Last weekend we scheduled some serious training rides. 122km on Saturday morning, and .. you know that saying 'hit the wall'? *Smash*, I hit it. Totally and utterly stuffed. The 5.30am start didn't help... We were home by 11.30, in time to get to a netball presentation... and then I stumbled up to bed and slept for 2 hours in the late afternoon.

Sunday morning I didn't want to look at a bike, never mind get on and ride anymore... Much self talk saw me reluctantly and sulkily clambering on the back of the tandem again; we only did 45km, albeit incorporating a 3km hill. Most of that I was brushing back tears; it was only the adrenalin rush of some fast tandem downhills that perked me up any - plus forcing down one of those energy gels.

I decided that it might be wise not to ride this week.

I did go out and buy some very expensive bike nix with the most awesome padding, which I hope will protect not only those pressure points that suffer most, but *whispers* my.. er... front bits which have been suffering in a way I would never have imagined...

Meanwhile, as luck, karma, Murphy's Law... or whatever.. would have it... guess what is due to start anytime...? Which means (especially the way my peri-menopausal body is doing stuff on a random and ad hoc basis these days) that I'm doing the usual emotional PMS-y build-up thing. You know, ladies. That feeling that your menfolk do not have a clue about, do not relate to, do not understand in any way...? That feeling you want to cry for no reason. The rising anxiety over anything... which means that if you have something that's bordering on 'reasonable' to be anxious or nervous about, then... woot! Happy days... er, not.

Naturally, I am a wee bit anxious about my ability to sit on a bike for 24 hours. Minus the breaks of course. Breaks? 10 minutes every 2 hours, and a half hour break in the evening?! (All the riders ride together you see...)
WTF?!! 10 minutes is barely enough time to go to the loo normally.. never mind if I am dealing with you-know-what. (Never mind the added issues thus related...)

Yes. I am anxious. Please, please, PLEASE don't let it start.

Today I am trying to get organised... and I am anxious about all of that too. Anxious for anxious sakes. Because not only do we have to get ourselves sorted, we have three kids to wrangle! We have to take a tent and sleeping gear for them, so they can go sleep while we are riding through the night. We also agreed to take our triple bike down there for a display... so that has to be sorted. I am about to make fried rice so we have some extra food to shovel in, plus something for the kids. Dinner tonight of course, as well.

All in a good cause. This IS to raise money for ROMAC - a Rotary charity that brings kids from developing countries to Australia for life-saving and life-changing surgery. Puts all my anxiety and woes into a bit of perspective. And trust me... I wouldn't be doing this insane ride if it wasn't for charity.

There is no specific online donation method, but if anyone would like to bolster our fundraising efforts, I would love you to bits. I got the required $500 sponsorship from a local company Arc Attack Engineering, who are amazingly generous when it comes to supporting community endeavours. But I'm working on matching that with personal donations, as I'd like to think we could raise $1000 for our efforts. I am a couple of hundred off achieving that.

You'd have to send me a cheque made out to ROMAC, or deposit in my bank account, and I'd send you back the official receipt. (Tax deductions for $2 or over (in Oz anyway..)... but you'd have to make it worth the 55c postage stamp! ) If it's the right timing for you to make a donation to a worthwhile charity, send me an email trace at exemail dot com dot au and I'll send you either my address or bank account details... and get your address to send you back the receipt.

If you can't, no sweat, no pressure. Just pray to whatever goddess, spirit, moon, or whatever for me that 'you know what' doesn't start till after!

See you when I wake up after it's all over...

Labels: bike riding, daily

... and concentrate .. because I've pretty much lost my voice.

I probably sound worse than I feel, but I don't mind the sympathy. It's hard to get as a mum, so I'll take what I can get anytime I can get it. This morning even the kids scurried into action once they heard my rasping attempts to get a sentence out. A bit of finger snapping to get their attention and it worked a treat. Makes you wonder if you could implement that strategy all the time, somehow. (Fortunate that the Daddy was around for back up though.)

Mind you there was a bit of coughing up of blechy stuff going on when I first got up, so I do plead infirmity. There was no point going into TAFE like this, and I decided to give myself the morning off from stressing over TAFE work.

I thought I might upgrade my blog to layouts or whatever it's called; the way this comments section slides off to the left has long driven me insane. I finally settled on a layout that I thought I could tweak to suit me - but then discovered that I couldn't even find the basic background colour code code to change, so I threw in the towel and reverted to what I had. If nothing else I am continuing my theme of going round in circles.

But while I have you all enthralled at my general pathetic-ness, I'll use your brains for ideas. You see, my friends, for this science project that I mentioned last post, I have to investigate a consumer product. Any consumer product I like. Sky's the limit. (No, budget is the limit. As is time. And bother.) Do some experiments.. some research.. and.. present a report. Something like that. (Do you think that I can find my worksheet for it right this minute?! Arrgh...)

And I haven't really got a clue what to do. Most of my inertia is of course motivated by sheer laziness. I'm probably not enough on the bandwagon of education enlightenment with this course, going back to past options that I may have inadvertently passed by. OK, so having a science unit has probably been useful in that it has very definitely knocked back down any wavering doubt I may have had that I unwisely missed an otherwise fantastic career opportunity back in high school when I ultimately did no science units for the HSC. I'm really just not a patient enough person to fiddle-faddle around with all the ins and outs of experimentation and the like. Hypotheses interest me.. but there it stops. Scratch science from the list of potential careers or jobs for me.

Unfortunately, this epiphany won't get me a 'pass' - and it would be rather stupid to not pass the course because of Attitude.

But what to test/research? Some people in the past have tested laundry detergents. Some stuff like brands of baked beans. Paper towel absorbency (and we mucked around with paper towels in class last week.) I'm vaguely tempted to do dishwashing liquid, because I do get frustrated when I wash up on other places sometimes... (particularly places like holiday units where they provide the el-cheapo stuff that barely creates any suds.) And I could get people in the course to bring in a sample of what they use (saves money on buying lots of samples.) But how do I test it?!! (And do I really want to find out that the dishwashing detergent I choose to buy isn't as good as I think it is?!!)

Anyhoo, if any of you lovely people have any brilliant ideas (that won't involve too much work for a lazy sod) then let me know! You never know... you might just come up with the perfect idea and save me a lot of angst!

Labels: daily, sick

.. whilst fighting off a throat or chest infection.

I'm going round in circles. Round and round in bloody circles. It would be an amusing metaphor for the ROMAC ride if I didn't find it all just a bit unfunny. So much to do, I don't know where to start -and yet when I do prioritise, things keep distracting me, or knocking me off the rails.

The current priority is, of course, to train the derrière up for 24 hours on a bike saddle, but priorities, schmiorities... they're there to be thwarted, patently.

Friday it rained. Well, never mind, the weekend was approaching and good weather was forecast, thank heavens, unimaginable as it was most of Friday.

Friday night after swim squad and dinner my throat suddenly felt scratchy. No, no, no, no, noooo! I headed for bed early, with fingers crossed. Voices in head: "You don't have time for this! You tried, tried, tried not to think "how good is it that I haven't got sick yet this year" but, looks like did, You Idiot. Waaah! OK.. so just.. don't panic...Sleep...and in the morning it'll be gone. Like magic. You just sleep it, and wish it away, k?"

5.40am departure scheduled - the town-and-back-with-community-ride-in-the-middle ride. And of course I slept like cr*p (husband snoring, weird dreams, etc etc.) One minute the clock read 3am, the next thing I peered up at it, suspicious about the daylight beginning to permeate the room. 5.25. Oh sh*t. Late! It's impossible to get up, get ready and leave in 15 mins. [Alarm setter malfunction. Him.] He reckons we can still ride and 'meet them all somewhere'. But me? Headache. Sore throat still. Damn it, not going then. Maybe a sleep in will help. Probably a ride ("a ride" she says casually ... like a ninety kilometre ride!) wouldn't help. A sore throat is something I just don't need at this point in time (though that's a silly thing to say isn't it? - who ever needs a sore throat at any time?) Better off not riding. Hmmmph.

I wussed through Saturday (and netball finals) on aspro, then had a late afternoon sleep. Note: if Tracey sleeps in the daytime this is Ultimate Proof that she is actually not well (and probably should have served as a warning!) I picked up a bit after that, and got a good night's sleep on Saturday night (in hindsight, further proof, again, that I was not 100% because, like a toddler, the more normal outcome from a dusk hour sleep for me would be rattling around all night!)

Naturally, then, although feeling a bit 'chesty', but no sore throat, and no headache, I determined that I would be ok to ride. (Had to ride.) And so we set off from home at 7.30, and ended up doing 118km! On two weetbix, two scones and half a banana. (We met up with some other riders for morning tea, hence the scones and the drawn out ride - we didn't get home till around 2pm, after then running into more cyclists that we knew, and then helping out another anonymous cyclist who had had a puncture, but forgot to bring a tube!)

Fuel reserves a bit light on perhaps? (And that's the oily rag analogy/reference... k?)

And go on, so tell me maybe I was just a bit crazy for riding at all. (It's not like I haven't thought it)

Would you believe?... Today I'm iffy again... so I've just pulled out of my swimming squad class for this afternoon... and I'm not motivated to push myself in any way aerobically. So much for "I should ride every day."

Meantime, as I've also lamented before, it's not as if I have nothing else to do...

I've got myself dizzy with all the bits and pieces I should be doing, that I don't quite know where to start, or what to prioritise for when. Too many pots on the boil - and I'm the cook having a nervous breakdown - sitting in the corner of the kitchen with my head in my hands, rocking back and forth.

End of season netball stuff. Organising certificates etc. Organising the design samples for the new association uniform (did I actually volunteer to do that?... um, yep.) Redrafting the local rules. Drafting the special rules for the Twilight comp. (Hassling people to send me the information!). Drafting other stuff that I've been asked to draft. Never mind getting the website up to date with all the info and photos that I know it needs.

Bicycle User Group stuff. Design completely new website. Keep up with the ride calendar. Etc.

TAFE Stuff. Two presentations. One due next week. One that could be due after the holidays, except that it would be smart to do it this week, as I've been conned into 'speaking' at a Rotary dinner next Monday with regard to us doing the ROMAC ride, and given I haven't done any public speaking in about 60 years, then it wouldn't be a bad idea to use this TAFE requirement as PRACTICE.

And a science assignment.

Which is the scariest thing of all, because I have no idea at all what I am going to do, and what's more? Gradual dawning that my Care Factor (in regard to science) = 0.

More about that next post, because, dear reader, I am going to call upon a creative thinking brain power resource that I do have at my fingertips. YOU!

Ah yeah, and also there's the usual house and home stuff. Parent teacher interviews this afternoon. And dinner. And washing. And what does a vacuum cleaner look like again?

I don't know that blogging all this has helped - though you might say that at least I've got something off my chest. If only it was this infection.

Labels: bike riding, daily, sick, sooking

It's raining. A lot.

This means I am not on my bike, as was my plan for today.

Given that in two weeks time I am intending to sit on a bike seat for nigh on 24 hours, giving my bum time to get used to the idea of sitting on a bike seat for nigh on 24 hours does seem to be a good plan to have, albeit one not that easy to schedule around my new 'school' commitments, as well as the usual family Stuff. Today was my 'free' day for the week, and ideally I could have ridden maybe 60km, which would have been a reasonable bum toughening distance.

Marc and I did 89km last Sunday, and I managed 30km by myself the day before. On Tuesday, thanks to a teacher being absent, I prioritised bike time instead of study time, but ended up practising my tyre changing instead (not really the top of my list right now!) and thus only clocking up 20km.

Really, it's not enough, and I'm starting to stress just a wee bit about it all, and wonder what the hell I was doing when I agreed to do this.

I'm not so worried about the muscles; at least on a velodrome there are no hills. And the sleep deprivation is not something you can really train for. I'm trying to look at it as a big night out! OK, big day and night out. Reminds me of the occasional overnighters I did at college. Some to get assignments completed - some, of course, of the more social variety.

I'm not quite sure what category I'd put this little adventure in...

(What's that you say?... A category called, simply, "Madness"? Yep, you could be right...)

Mind you I have done a few overnight adventure things in my time: a few overnighter canoe marathons, so I'm not a stranger to overnighter endurance events. (Let's just forget the fact that I was much, much younger then - and we started paddling at 4pm - this bloody ride thing starts at 10am!)

And since then, of course, I have become a mum, and even if, in hindsight, I've emerged relatively unscarred from the battle zone of three babies' sleeping habits (blessed as I have been with pretty good sleepers), I have still experienced a few sleepless nights with newborn feeding issues, and then sick babies - and bigger kids for that matter... (while the Daddy slept through it all, but let's not go there!!!)

So where was I? It's raining. And I'm not riding. Because of all things, would you believe, I can't control the weather. Dammit!

I have, of course, six kazillion, seven hundred and twenty four other things I should and could be doing, and the issues I am having with time management and prioritising and procrastination would fill another blog post. (So I might leave them for another blog post, and perhaps attempt to do some of them now!)

Labels: bike riding, daily

I have been AWOL, I know. (And of course you missed me... all .. errr... three or so of you!) It feels like a sin in the blogging world - to not post for a week and a half, that is - but I am proof that one can actually not blog for a few days and still survive! Today, however, I am back to procrastinating about housework. Ergo I seem to have... um.. found time to ... blog.

It has been a slightly madder than usual week or so in our household, so much so that I feel compelled to record it for posterity. (And bore everyone senseless in the meantime.)

So last week I had three days of leading/hosting some local bike rides (totting up 150km over three days). The family took second place to these cycling commitments, and I know that a few things slipped under the radar - I was just lucky that Marc had taken leave for two days before his crazy race, so he picked up some of the slack. I was a tired girl on Friday night.

And then I had three nights away, with a drive to Sydney and back with two of the girls (totting up at least 1200 km in the car). In the day in between - Saturday - I took Ms 15 shopping for new clothes (how dare she grow between last winter and now!), somehow managed to get the other two to pack, and tried to catch up at checkpoints with the Mad Husband on this 48 hour (plus) adventure race. (The shopping for clothes bit rated almost as tiring as driving all the way to Sydney, especially when the Daughter accidentally picked up the wrong size when we went back into a shop to pick up a second pair of jeans, and so requiring another trip to town on the Sunday morning to change them! The things that mothers do, huh..)

The CrazyHusband started his race at 7am on the Saturday morning, and finished around midday on Monday (with about 15 mins sleep somewhere in there. Yes, you read that right. Two nights careering around either in a kayak, or on foot, or on a bike - mostly on muddy (and hilly) bush tracks.) I last saw him on Sunday around midday - in a rather tired, wet, sweaty and muddy state at a checkpoint near our house. (Needless to say there was no passionate, nor even snuggly embrace of the type I usually like to get before a few night's separation!) I left, with the two youngest girls, an hour after that, and got back Wednesday night. He left Wednesday morning for a work trip, which, late yesterday, got extended to two nights, and so I haven't yet actually been able to wrap my arms around him as confirmation of his survival and intactedness after what I now refer to as his 'three day bender'.

Tuesday I travelled in trains, and hung around the Sydney Opera House because MY GIRLS were playing in a 700 strong recorder ensemble with other public school kids from all over the state. They had a rehearsal 12.00 tll 3.00, then we had to feed them, and return them for the concert at 6.30. It was pretty damn AWESOME to be watching your kids in the concert hall of the Opera House! - and, believe it or not, 700 recorders actually sound pretty damn AWESOME! - a whole lot more awesome than they sound being practised at home! (I have yet to convince Ms 15 of this, but anyhow....) My mum and I also walked around city streets and shops for about two hours, which has pretty much cured me of any desire to walk around city streets and shops ever again, really. Tired legs, much? - as the teenagers would say...

Meanwhile, Ms 15 stayed home by herself (first time ever) on the Sunday night (and to all intents and purposes 'by herself' on Monday night, because she was unable to wake CrazyDad as instructed to let him know she was home from netball training! - unsurprisingly he slept through from around 3.30 pm till around 7.30 the next morning! Then she set off on an overnight train trip to Sydney - a school excursion to see the musical Billy Elliot (sleep deprivation seems to be a recurring theme around here, no?!)... and got home around 10pm last night.

I backed up for comp tennis yesterday, and so today has been set aside to conquer the mountain of washing that had somehow accumulated. (Thankfully CrazyDad did manage to wash and dry his filthy muddy gear...I'm not sure I would have coped with that as well!) The weather is not being particularly helpful - one minute spitting rain, the next allowing the sun to shine, so I am torn between risking the clothesline and cycling stuff through the clothes dryer. (Back to housewife mundanities ya think?)

Seems that while I was away blogging mates decided it would be a good time to tag me for various memes, each of which I shall attempt at some point in the near future.. (although me + "beauty regime" is something that just makes me pretty much ROFLMAO, and me + quirks? I mean, really... I don't have any quirks.. do I?.....)

Back soon!

Labels: daily

Why is it I can't find any clipart of sewing machine rage?

Do a google image search for computer rage, and you have pages and pages of pictures of people ready to thump their monitors with anything from their fists to nine-irons. But could I find anything similar for sewing machine frustrations? No! Does noone else in the world ever feel like drop kicking their sewing machine through the window?

I couldn't even find a picture of a tangled mess of bobbin stitch, which is the catalyst for the big whinge you see before you here! [I should have taken a photo, shouldn't I? There looks to be an opening for freely available images on sewing machine tangles and disasters.]

Give me my computer any day.

I have a sewing machine. And I know how to use it. Or I should. (Don't most women know how to use a sewing machine? Isn't there a gene for sewing and mending that is female-specific?)

The problem is, I've never learnt the ins and outs of stitch tension, and needle selection. I tend to just try and sew on a generic setting, then come over all terribly frustrated when something goes wrong. (And curse the fact that I never learnt how to sew properly.)

Where do people learn how to wrangle sewing machines?

I know that all that is required is to calmly and coolly troubleshoot my way through it with the manual, and many pieces of sample material. I've done that before. (And with an overlocker, which requires even more tension troubleshooting..)

But me with a sewing machine is like Groundhog Day... with a twist. I never remember what I've learnt!

I always forget what sort of needle should be used on what material, and even if I could remember, how do I identify them when you all but need an electron microscope to read the markings on the needle. (Given that lately I need to put on those magifying glasses to even thread a damn needle, we're pushing the proverbial uphill here...) Oh, god, what a pain in the neck, why can't I just pull it out and sew. All I'm wanting to do here is hem a pair of bloody pants - not create a garment from scratch!

Yesterday afternoon: Cait's school pants. Need to be shortened 10cm. After the cutting, and refolding up the hem, all I had to do was stitch around the bottom by machine. Right?

Errr, no.

Total catastrophe with the bobbin side of the stitching (as you can see, I'm also really up on my sewing terminology) ending up in an almighty tangle. They are actually stretchy material - so it struck me, belatedly. So I probably should have changed the needle, or the tension, or something...

I unpicked it, resisted the urge to headbutt the machine, then calmly walked away. (And started cooking dinner with the aid of a glass of wine.) It was pretty stupid, after all, to be trying to do it in the late afternoon where I had no daylight to help cast light on the subject.

Today, however, is the last day I have time to sit and hem two pairs of pants (I am busy the rest of the week, then off to Sydney on the weekend, which is the deadline for one of the above pairs of pants to be taken up), and I'm debating whether sitting down and just handstitching the goddamned hems will be quicker than troubleshooting the tension on the bloody machine.

Me and my sewing machine skillz ! Just something else to add to my amazing repertoire - the one that goes something like "jack of all trades, master of none."

How are you with a sewing machine? Is it a dying art do you think, or is it just me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
An hour or so later: Success. A calm approach, the finding of, and installation of a jersey/ballpoint needle, and The Machine was all sweetness and light and on its best behaviour, as if to mock me for my outpouring of woe. Make a liar out of me, why don't you... you... MACHINE!

Now the only concern is whether I've done the right measurements for Cait's pants, because they just look kind of short.... If you hear a scream about two and a half hours from how, you'll know what it's about.

Labels: daily

We have a pretty busy schedule around here at the best of times - and particularly this time of year (I blame the netball, mostly) but it just peaked with a fairly crazy weekend that I'm basically just thankful to have negotiated and survived.

Cait was in the high school musical, and, in the lead up to the performances at the end of last week, CrazyMum's Transportation Service (& Centre for Logistical Planning) was put to the test, doing extra pick ups and drop offs as with rehearsals in between school and rep netball training commitments (which had to take priority.) Add in the other two kids and their stuff, and throw in also the car pooling factor- you couldn't do it all without sharing the load, but that requires organisational and communication skills as various parents try to figure out where they can or will be, whose turn it is, and what trips they can and can't do for which activity - and, well, you just about need a high powered computer to work it all out.

(Or my precious whiteboard on the fridge... where I triumphantly wipe off each particular event or car shuttle duty as it is 'remembered' and negotiated...)

My parents decided to come up from Sydney to see their granddaughter, seeing as she was turning 15 on Monday, and so timed it to see her dancing in the musical. The schedule was so manic there was no chance to even go out for a birthday dinner! I'm not quite sure what they made of it all, but, hey, that's what it all is around here, and they just had to go with the flow - and I had to incorporate them into the flow! (Which I think I managed ok...)

They arrived Friday night, made do with watching all three girls play netball on Saturday, then went to the musical on the Saturday night. They only stayed for two nights, and then had to let themselves out on Sunday morning, because we left at 6.20am to drive Cait to Taree to a rep netball carnival - 3 hours away!

(Are you still with me? But wait, there's more! Alison left for the same carnival the afternoon before, with her team - just one hour after finishing her netball game, and being raced home to have a quick shower. But being the wonderful parents we are, we elected to drive Cait (instead of her having to be up at 4am, after three nights of musical performances, to travel with her team) and get her there in time for the second game of the day. (They have to rotate off anyway... so we figured she could take first turn off. Nothing like organising the coach, huh.)

So have you done the maths? Six hours driving in one day for us to give her an extra hour and three-quarter's sleep?!!! Some might call that SPOILT. (Some might call it her birthday present!) Fortunately she seemed to appreciate it. (We also reminded her that she particularly owed her youngest sister who was heattbreakingly woken from a very peaceful slumber at 5.30 so as to be dragged along with the rest of the family...)

On Saturday Marc and I also did our early morning bike ride (70km) because we are nothing if not crazy- (so I'm doing this whole weekend madness on barely 6 hours sleep on Friday night?! OK, call me stupid, as well as crazy....) - and he went canoeing in between a netball-in-town drop off and pick up for Cait and teammate, because he is truly, truly crazy, and in training for this soon to be happening adventure racing weekend.

On Sunday night, on our way back from the netball carnival, we stopped off for dinner at a tavern bistro not far from home (and told Cait this was her birthday dinner out!). I was just a little miffed that at 7.45pm, when the girls ordered icecreams, I couldn't have a cappuccino because they had already shut the machine down!

On Monday morning, Marc looked a bit taken aback at the size of the washing pile that had accumulated! Oh my goodness, I hadn't washed in two days! What had I been doing?!! (And where on earth would it have come from - between five of us and all the stuff we'd been doing..?)

Now he is away Monday to Friday for work, missing Cait's actual birthday evening yesterday, and OUR wedding anniversary today. (19 years, thank you very much! -but it's ok, as you know, we don't go overboard on the celebratory stuff, and he's been further away (like overseas, and for longer) over these dates before, so I am not slitting my wrists over it... just milking it a bit!!)

And so our girl is FIFTEEN! Which is worth a blog post of its own, but one I shall tackle later in the week, because, despite this being the week after The Week Before, my whiteboard is beginning to fill up again with a whole new MUST DO list (that includes sewing stuff) because things are hotting up again shortly for another BIG week either side of, and over, the long weekend in June.

(And there is a mess in the kitchen left over from trying to make Ms 15's birthday just a little bit special. I suppose I should deal with it sometime today.)

I can't help thinking that if I was trying to work on top of all this, I think my head just may have exploded by now. How do all these other working mums do it?

.

Labels: daily

Or: "I told you I can't do stupid role play scenarios."

Wondering why I haven't posted for a week?** I've just been doing the Stress Thing. As in Irrational Anxiety Attack - come on DOWN!

What about? About a stupid course. A course that meant nothing in the scheme of things. There was no pass or fail. Just turn up and supposedly learn stuff. That's all. Easy peasy.

To most normal people.

One week and one day before this Ride Leader Training course, we were emailed all this reading material, and the course outline. And it was apparent that the 'course' day was really more an 'assessment' day. Barely an hour of actual course time! We were to plan a ride route, based on the material in the 20 page guidelines we were sent. And be assessed on it. And on the day we would be taken around a short ride route, and then we'd have to 'lead' a group of volunteer riders around that ride route. And be assessed on it.

A group of volunteer riders would be prepped to act out a range of things that can and do 'go wrong' on rides. And you had to roll up, and play pretendsies at being the leader; do pre-ride briefing.. and briefings at each regrouping point as you rode around this 3 km course. During this time you would have to act out dealing with the varied pretend scenarios the actor/riders were going to present. Every possible thing they could think of that could go wrong on a ride. (People falling off bikes, getting chest pains on hills, going the wrong way, riding ahead... you name it...)

Well. I stressed about it. BIG TIME. I have developed, over the years, what you'd have to call a verging-on pathological neurosis about role playing - or hypotheticals. (I don't even have to be in front of a group of people - I once flipped out over an online computer course I started to do, because I had to pretend I was advising on computers to buy for some fictitious school.. and I couldn't do it. Because it wasn't real. I couldn't bring myself to pretend or imagine or assume all these fictitious details!)

Various people, but particularly Marc, talked soothing logic to me - even up to when we were lying in bed at 11pm the night before! (that was Marc, not the various people)- and told me it wasn't really that hard, and I was as smart or smarter than most of the people doing it, and it wasn't rocket science, and it didn't really MATTER anyway. What did I have to lose? Nothing! (Plus the classic role model for the kids thing - about giving things a go, doing your best, facing your demons. Yadda, yadda...)

So, that prevented me from pulling out of the bloody thing beforehand.... and so, despite my misgivings, I turned up on the day.

And then the whole role playing thing threw me completely. You see, if I was going to lead a ride, I would pre-arrange one or two support riders that I could trust to be riding with me. One to be the sweep rider, and quite possibly one to lead off, because I know that I am a hill slug. So my M.O. would be to ride in the middle - keeping an eye on things...

I questioned the course leaders on this, but because I was the third cab off the rank to do the scenario, I couldn't use one of the other riders doing the course with me. (Not until they'd done it.) I had to turn up and use whoever was in the volunteer group - ask one of them to be the sweep rider - and "make assumptions" that they would do it right - whatever the hell that meant.

So this threw me already. I wasn't happy about it, because already it was a totally unrealistic situation for me. And the situation was already in role-reversal, because the volunteer riders were there 'controlling' the situation from the start. They had already ridden the route more times than me, and they were there ready to wreak havoc if they could! (Which is not how a normal ride would be!!)

And then one of the volunteers riders (from BNSW - Bicycle NSW - there were five people from BNSW here to run or to help with this course - ever heard the term "junket"?!) - says "I'll be sweep rider."

And I wasn't happy about that, because I didn't know him from a bar of soap, and so I didn't want him to be sweep rider... yet he insisted again... and, while it pissed me off, I wasn't strong enough to know how to deal with it. The assessor invited me to start, and when I went to start with the pretendsies situation - the "HI! I'm Tracey, and I'm going to be your rider leader for today..." it all welled up inside me, and I felt like I was going to burst into tears.

And I just blurted out "I can't do this."

What do you call that? (Apart from pathetic.) Choking? Stage fright?.... Anxiety attack?

I couldn't even start... and I knew that I'd be totally shit at acting out dealing with people pretending to fall off bikes, and have heart attacks, and do the wrong thing... all in the space of 3 km.

Luckily one of the women doing the course with me (and I consider her a friend) is already a qualified trainer/assessor, and they asked her to talk to me. (Seems I'd thrown THEM a situation they didn't know how to deal with!!)

She was wonderful. Called it a classic case of stage fright. Had seen it before. Suggested some options... trying it again later if I wanted - by then she'd have done hers, so would be available to be sweep rider. Or she could 'assess' me later on a real ride. She deflected the guy who had wanted us to do the course in the first place, and who kept on, unhelpfully, telling me I could do it, he had "faith in me.".

I decided not to do it. I know it would have been 'facing my fears'... but I was (and still am) too much of a mixture of upset and angry - and I didn't want to be given any favours. Either way. Plus, I never wanted to be "assessed" in the first place.

So I am angry that I'd let other people convince me that I could/should do this.. when I knew deep down that I didn't want to. I was doing the course to please others... not myself. Did I really want to be a ride leader anyway? Not really - I am really much happier being 2IC. Was a contrived scenario, based on my ability to act, going to prove I could lead a ride? I don't really know. It seems to be the latest trend; even if you go for a job stacking shelves in a supermarket! - which looks to make me pretty well unemployable then.

I might change my mind, but right now my stance is 'well, congratulations... what this course achieved for me is that I am now ruling myself out of leading any rides.' After all, if I can't face up to a role-play scenario, then I quite possibly can't handle any real life crises that might occur. While they said there was no passing or failing, a 'didn't even do' is a fail in my book.

Personally I think that there are other better ways for people to 'train up' as ride leaders. Be a support rider... and then when you do feel ready to lead a ride, then do so with the more experienced leader as back-up. Sounds logical to me.. but the whole competency/training scene these days is role playing.

And what did we actually learn on the day? Not that much, really. We 'discussed' three case studies of rides where things went wrong. (One of them I did say "Well, frankly, I wouldn't be leading a BUG ride on a wineries tour anyway, because duh! - with unknown participants you're asking to get idiots who want to get drunk!)

I prepared part of a ride route beforehand, with map and cue sheet, as per the guidelines in the reading material sent to us. I opted to be "assessed" for that, even though I had decided the whole "assessment" thing was a w*nk anyway. [Riding around doing that on the Wednesday and Friday last week trying to do that was time consuming. (And on Friday I got a flat tyre - which was good from the point of view of being able to practise changing it by myself without people standing over me - but it left me slightly more stressed and exhausted and with a sore lower back!!)]

So I passed the route planning! WHATEVER!! I didn't really care.. it meant nothing to me. The feedback on what I'd done was fine. "Yep, that's the way to do a cue sheet." But a tick and signature?! Wtf....

So there you are. I guess normal blogging transmission may resume once I've got myself over this little bout of neurosis (which may or may not coincide with the consumption of the rest of the packet of chocolate mint slices that I bought yesterday.)

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** Oh, so you didn't miss me? Well, couldn't you just pretend that you did?

.

Labels: bike riding, daily, losing my mind

Leaving tomorrow for a few days cycling in Armidale with BUG people (and more particularly other people with tandems.)

It's almost 10pm and I haven't packed yet. My brain went walkabout today. I don't know if it's because Fragile Week has extended into Fragile Fortnight, or I am experiencing the first stages of early onset dementia, but I haven't got my act together at all, and I have a very worriesome story about how I can't manage to buy the right Italian deli meat for a particular frittata recipe - on an ongoing basis. I mean.. pancetta, pastrami, prosciutto - they all start with a 'p', don't they? (How confusing is that?! )

The girls have created a total bombsite upstairs with their packing, and I'm about to strangle one in particular over items of clothing that she "can't find". I can also sense Marc will explode at some point over what hasn't been done that I should have done today.

I have made a zucchini slice and the aforementioned frittata (with prosciutto instead of pancetta) to take with us for sharing at the place we are staying. For some reason cooking three meals in one night was too much of a challenge for the Planning and Logistics department in the old brain, and it took me all day to figure out what to have for dinner, and what to par-cook to take tomorrow. I finally dragged myself out to the supermarket in the afternoon, (didn't write a list, didn't get the right 'p' meat, didn't think to buy softdrink to take for the kids, probably forgot more things that I haven't realised yet...), and then didn't fully process the fact that the reason we are going tomorrow is that it is ANZAC day, and thus the shops will be closed in the morning at the very least, and therefore it was not a sensible decision to put off the buying of the BYO meat for Saturday night's BBQ till tomorrow - because there will not be any butchers open tomorrow.

While I had the cycling program for the weekend, which includes a ride tomorrow afternoon, I also didn't correctly process the required departure time in order to arrive at Armidale in time for the afternoon ride tomorrow (and to say hello to people and maybe have some lunch, and get our act together...) There's the small consideration of a 3 hour drive to factor in as well you see. I don't know how I thought we'd get there... through hyperspace perhaps.. because when Marc pointed out we needed to leave by about 9.00, I kind of gulped and thought "sh*t... I guess we do."....

Neurotic after all, perhaps.

If I manage not to get lost, or forget who I am and where I live, I'll talk to you all on Monday and tell you all about our weekend!

Labels: bike riding, daily, losing my mind

Labels: daily, wtf

Either that or emptying the contents of my angsty brain into a blog post has the power to influence my darling children after all!

Last night Ms Nearly 15 was reading my last post, and was most affronted.

"You haven't blogged about Zoe and me!!"

"I know, I know... I will tomorrow. I have Twittered it though!"

So! Just so you know, Internets! ...

SLOTH #1 AND SLOTH#3 ARE NOT SLOTHS.

(And to be fair, #2 was doing 2 hours of rep netball training at the same time.)

Around 4.00 yesterday afternoon Cait said that she might go for another jog.

!!!

"Why don't you take Zoe" I said. "She needs to do some jogging before the school cross country, and I can't run."

"Ok"

!!!!

"Zoe! Get your joggers on. We're going for a run."

!!!!
(Wow... I wish I had that sort of influence!)

She raided the money jar, but I wasn't going to argue. I thought they were only going to go to the headland, and come back to our local shop, and if they did that they could buy something.

But they went all the way to the next beachside town! For an icecream.

As you do.

I just plotted it on bikely/google earth...

That was a 5.5km return trip! and they jogged most of the way!

The creek (that I got my feet wet in the other weekend) was also still flowing out so Cait took her shoes and socks off, and piggybacked her sister across!

And she rang me, twice, on the way back to let me know where they were. As it was getting dark, and I might have been wondering where they were.

Am I impressed?

Yes, yes, and YES!

Now I am going to have to do something today to keep up appearances. I was still a bit sore yesterday and didn't get round to doing anything.

I have just dropped Zoe at a friend's place at that next town.. and told her that either her sister or I would walk/jog to pick her up!

Maybe it should be me!

Labels: daily, endorphins

Late afternoon shot of everyone floating to a stop after crossing the finish line..

With upper bodies throughly 'worked out'... the plan for Sunday was to focus on trashing the legs. (He's in training remember.) A 'walk' in the morning, and a mountain bike ride in the afternoon. Again, despite hearing early morning rain, the weather was kind to us this morning, and we only ended up with a few spots of rain, despite the ominous rumblings of thunder in the distance. (What?! The forecast was showers, not thunderstorms!)

Mr In-Training plotted a route from home out to the state forest, and up some steep state forest tracks onto the ridgeline. Along a bit. Then back down again.

I guess that doesn't mean that much... How about an elevation profile? See what looks like the steep bits in the middle? They were the steep bits.

Photographically:

(Ignore the red spot on the map.) We started off from home... a block back from the beach there. First a few kilometres through residential streets.. .. along the bike path ...

Ooh look, kangaroos... Mum with joey in pouch, plus older brother/sister?

...and then up towards the state forest.

This time we were detouring off our usual bike riding route and heading up "a steep track". At first I was thinking "Oh, this is nice, perhaps we could ride our bikes this way some time."

Then we hit this hill....

Hmmm... maybe not.. or.. well... maybe you could just push them up this bit...

But then...

[Apparently I swore - he heard me...]

"Slippery When Wet." Indeed. We've had rain. It wasn't too easy to negotiate in runners or cross trainers... (Normally I'd choose dunlop volleys when I need some tyres with grip.) So now he is talking about acquiring adventure racing shoes ... there is apparently this whole retail industry set up to sell adventure racing specific clothing and gear! Who would have thought it?!

Looking back down:
I was so busy worrying about traction, I didn't think to get puffed. And you certainly get height value for each step when it's that steep. Before long we were at the top and tootling along a gently undulating track, to be rewarded with the view back down from where we'd come.


And then State Forest emerged back out into farmland. The road back down was pretty damned steep too, but fortunately paved. Some landowner had placed "Private Property" signs at the top, but there was no gate, and as it was the most direct route home, we took it. I was too busy worrying about my knees on the steep downhill and didn't get the camera out.

My feet, legs, hips and bum were suitably 'trashed' by the time we got home, and so I wussed out of the afternoon's MTB adventure. Mr In-Training went off to meet up with a cycling friend to explore some tracks near town... while I stayed home to recover "encourage" the girls to get out and do something. Suggestions of going for a jog to get a bit of practice in before the school cross country were met by an apoplectic and tearful reaction from Ms 9. [So I thought she liked it when she came first last year! Go figure.. who am I to understand.. or to suggest doing a bit of training?! God, it's not like I don't practise what I .. suggest...]

The eldest finally decided to go for a run/walk with a friend - seeing they were told by their rep netball coach to keep their fitness up during the holidays. The other two managed to contact some friends - also sisters - and did a swap for an hour or so. Not quite as active, but then the rain closed in again anyway. If they'd got themselves going earlier they would have had a much more productive and fulfilling day! Just ask their crazy parents.

Labels: daily, endorphins

We kind of went out last night, Marc and I, if you consider a BUG (Bicycle User Group) meeting followed by a casual meal at a local Thai restaurant/cafe "going out". I left the kids at home babysitting themselves. The biggest sister is almost 15 now, so we're at the point where we can do this sort of thing.

I even left them to cook their own dinner. We have a bit of a running family joke here; whenever I sigh and say "what shall I get for dinner?" they always, always say "Chicken burgers". They think this is funny. (I occasionally accommodate them when Marc is away... but when he's home I usually aim for a more 'wholesome' ..errr... balanced... well, normal family meal.) So yesterday when it was a case of deciding what to get just them for dinner, naturally I bought them chicken burgers (the makings thereof) and left them to it... with instructions about cleaning up, and bedtime.

The meeting dragged on, but the Thai was yum... and it felt kind of nice to have a meal out. We arrived home, in separate cars, as Marc was already in town for work, around 10.00. And there were two rabbits in our driveway!

They hopped out of the way...and we got out of the cars, shaking our heads... Not something we usually see around here.

Cait opened the door .. and we said "There were rabbits in the driveway!!"

Nothing like the raised eyebrows of your teenage daughter in a kind of role reversal scenario. Well, what we envisage as a role reversal scenario down the track a bit.

"Yep, sure guys.... have you been drinking?"

Labels: daily

Or maybe not.

This morning I had one of these photos taken of my eyes - or rather, the inside of my eyes. It required drops to dilate my pupils, and they take about 2 hours to wear off. It was pretty disconcerting for that duration - things were blurry in a blotchy kind of fashion - and I even struggled to read a text message that came in from Marc, after I managed to predictive-text to him the fact that everything was blurry. [I finally worked out that he sent 'Still texting tho' ?' Heh.]

I could only imagine how crap it would be to have a permanent vision impairment like that.

It was a bit freaky seeing myself in the mirror when I went to the loo. Evil eyes, with the huge dilated black pupils!! (So then I felt self-conscious walking around wondering if people could notice them!!)

The special photo - plus a field test that I did - were to check that some blotchy vision I sometimes experienced, and a slight difference in the shape of my retina - apparently - weren't anything to worry about. Nothing showed up (like early onset of glaucoma or the like), and my field vision is good. So the different shape most likely has to do with the fact that my eyes are indeed anatomically different - unsurprising given one is shortsighted and one is longsighted! And the occasional patch stuff because they work hard compensating for each other.

So that's all good.

By the time I'd wandered around the shops, and then met up with Marc for lunch, I was good to drive home. What a relief to be able to see clearly again.

Only then, I've sat down here at the computer and put on my glasses with their new prescription lenses that I just picked up. And it's not real flash.

Because each eye compensates for the other, I don't need glasses to drive. Nothing is blurry. I can even watch TV or movies, or read without them, but wearing them probably puts less strain on my eyes. (The other day when bike riding on the back of the tandem in a group, I was the one picking up oncoming cyclists in the distance on the bike path before anyone else!!)

The only place I really need them is the computer - I guess it must be a distance from the screen thing.

But with this new prescription, the optometrist has done this multi-focal lens for the first time,(it's a new optometrist), where the bottom half is optimised for reading, and the top half for the longer distance. When Zoe got glasses for the first time the other week, she didn't have a problem with the multi-focal thing at all.

But oh boy. I do. This is horrible. If it had been a new frame job as well, I'd have dumped these and hauled out my old glasses by now. But I have no option!

I think I'll ring them to find out how long it should take me to adjust. Because right now I'm not feeling very happy about the $200 plus I've just paid - for it to be not quite clear, and for it to go all really weird and distorted when I move my head.

It is all feeling rather headache inducing, and frankly, I don't need any extra headache inducing factors in my life.

Conspiracy theory: I am wondering if my husband has been in cohorts with the optometrist. "Can you give her lenses that will make her less comfortable at the computer, so she spends less time there?"

~~~~~~~~~
I just rang.

"Usually takes a few days.... bla bla... give them a rest for the rest of today"

"Well, then I can't use my computer at all really.... I have to say I'm just a bit distressed that I've just paid over $200 for lenses that I can't use!"

"Well, can you come in tomorrow?.. OK, well, come in then and we'll check them.. bla bla..."

[It's bloody lucky I'm not really REALLY needing them for paid work isn't it. If I had an office job to go back to I'd be up the proverbial creek.. As it is, I guess I don't need them to vacuum, empty the dishwasher and cook dinner.]

Not a completely happy little vegemite this afternoon.

~~~~~~~~~~
Updated to add: So I have discovered that if I lower my head slightly and peer through the top quarter of the lens, it is more 'normal'. Great. And apparently to use the reading optimised bottom part of the lens you need to learn not to lower your head and just lower your eyes. Anyone see the contradiction here?

Labels: daily

[If you're Australian - and old enough - feel free to sing that as per the 1990 Medibank Private ad lyrics - seeing that's what's going through my head.]

But yes. I feel so much better now. Sweet relief. I came good by dinner last night, so I went with my crazy genes and got up early and went into the early morning bike ride. I knew that if I didn't, I'd resent the 5 hours of "being" at netball. At least this way I have done some exercise, and something for myself, plus enjoyed some social time over coffee as well.

And then the netball season began. Almost on the wrong foot - or should I say 'shoeless feet'. Heading out the door, Alison in thongs because she wasn't playing the first game. On Mother Auto-Pilot I ask the nag question: "Have you got your shoes?"....

"Uh-oh..." she says. "oops". Then has to hunt for them. Imagine if I'd asked that a few minutes later, in the car.

She can't locate them immediately.

"I'd have had them if you hadn't made me put them away."

[See Mum explode. Watch Mum speak in a very loud voice and slam doors.]

But wait! They weren't even put 'away'. The were kicked under the computer desk, with dirty socks still in them.


Things weren't off to a good start once at netball either. Cait's junior team are slow to arrive, and we have to play the first quarter with a sub. (She'd told them to get there only 10 minutes before the game started! See what happens when I'm out of commission!)

We came through the day with one blistered toe (Zoe), one bloody nose (Zoe), and a skinned elbow and knee (Ali - to match the ones she did at training a fortnight ago. I'd take a photo and blog it, but she won't let me, so I can only tell you about it.) And an ant bite (Me - while kneeling on the grass tending Zoe's bleeding nose.)

Zoe got clonked in the face with the ball, and prone as she is to nosebleeds in the heat, I wasn't too fazed that she got the nosebleed. It just looked dramatic - like a murder scene, Coach Cait reckoned. Fortunately it happened only a couple of minutes out from full time, because she'd been playing so well, and getting a few goals! She has big shoes to fill with the netball, but she showed she must have picked up something from watching them. (Surprising that, given mostly at netball carnivals she is to be found with her nose in a book.)

When Alison went down in her second game (after slipping and doing the splits on some loose sand that shouldn't have been on the court in her first game), my heart did lurch. Thankfully only grazes, but she didn't exactly need to be collecting them. I've also pronounced her netball shoe soles too worn, despite her protestations that she tripped over someone's foot, and so now my lazy day at home tomorrow has turned into a shopping trip for new netball shoes. This netball palava just doesn't end.

This year I also thought I had managed to trade serving all day in the canteen with being the support mum for two teams. Oh no. Muggins here ended up in there yet again during the last game that Ali was in because there was noone else. All the rest of the committee were umpiring. Funny how not being secretary anymore hasn't changed much at all. My replacement hasn't been sucked in yet to being hands on during netball days, and there is simply noone else prepared to get off their bums who has a conscience.

When I was the only adult left to 'man' the canteen in the game after Ali's - the last game of the day - I finally made a stand, shut the canteen, emptied the garbage, counted the money, and left. It was hard, knowing I was leaving others to close up who'd been there longer than me. But someone's got to do it.

Labels: daily, netball