Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I'm good... yep.. I'm good...
If I keep telling myself that I will believe it. I'm good. Good. I run a constant battle against my own insecurities, inertia, frustrations, procrastinations, and a 44 year old body that has seen better days, so some days I need a bit of self persuasion.
Well, I am currently feeling ok. I just got back from my trainer session (and I've signed up for more.) I am making progress, I feel stronger, and she even reckons I look like I've lost some weight and toned up a bit. (She also thinks my husband will notice when he gets home on Friday, but I snorted and said "nuh, not likely". She doesn't believe me, but that's the truth. I "plucked" (ha ha) up the courage to get my eyebrows done again for the first time in a long while but he won't notice that either, because he didn't when I got them done for the first time ever. ) (Of course writing this here - which he does read occasionally - might just tip him off... so of course if he does say anything now, I will just say 'you're just saying that because you read it in my blog'... poor man)
I hurt my back a bit mowing on Monday morning - well, probably from shifting garden furniture. And so then my swimming class in the afternoon was a write-off, what with the back twingeing again, and legs that had nothing left in them after the 40km ride on Sunday (mainly mountain biking tracks - I worked hard).. It's true! They felt dead. Rather a weird feeling, and a bit peturbing. I felt like crying because I wasn't "altogether" and I wanted to be. Marc reckons it's all good, I must have worked really hard on the bike and that's the most important thing at the moment.
My back is ok today though - only a couple of twinges if I am not careful. So I am about to mow the front yard! Fool that I am, risking my back again. I know I could leave it for Marc, now that he'll be home in a couple of days, but we have limited weekend time with bike riding/training having to be squeezed in between kids' netball commitments, and the yard is waaaaay overdue for whipper snipping, and that's where I do draw the line at what my back can cope with. So he'll be whipper snipping on the weekend at some point I think. Welcome home darling.
I had another all day swimming carnival to attend yesterday. (Middle daughter did good again.. a couple of 1st places, and through to the next carnival in every event bar breastroke. It is at Lismore - about 2 and a half hours drive away- Thursday of next week. I am thinking the Daddy can take her to that one...and he did suggest it.) I am still amazed at how tired you can get just hanging around all day, and how much of a 'touch of sun' you can get despite mainly sitting in the shade and only jumping up to watch the events your kids are in.
The house is still a debacle, because I still keep putting the housework stuff off. I would rather mow the yard than wash up. Is there any hope for me? (I think it is because something like mowing looks 'done' for just a bit longer than the washing up does... )
I also have to work out how to go about this afternoon's schedule. Touch for 2 kids 4.30 - 5.30. Parent teacher meeting at school at 6.00. Debate whether to cadge lift for eldest into town for netball (game time 7.30 - 8.30) or go solo. But I did it last week.. well, I did the drop off, because the other girl was being precious about the remote chance of being 2 minutes late - Caitlin finishing touch at 5.30, and them having a 6.30 game. Despite having a team of 11 to rotate playing 7 positions so if we were a few minutes late it wouldn't matter... and then we bloody beat her into the courts ANYWAY! So I have sent a text asking for them to take Cait, but also offering to get her to and from a drop off point so I am not inconveniencing them too much by them having to drive out of their way twice as far as I drive out of my way to pick up and drop their daughter off... NO! I am not at all narky about any of this, particularly when parent concerned is the one who upset me at the netball committee meeting...)
*takes a breath*
And I have to figure out how and what to cook and have for dinner in the middle of it all. Sometimes I get myself all in a knot over such trivialities and blow it all out of all proportion in my mind.
One day I'll get it all together. Maybe. If body and mind don't gang up and let me down completely in the meantime.
Well, I am currently feeling ok. I just got back from my trainer session (and I've signed up for more.) I am making progress, I feel stronger, and she even reckons I look like I've lost some weight and toned up a bit. (She also thinks my husband will notice when he gets home on Friday, but I snorted and said "nuh, not likely". She doesn't believe me, but that's the truth. I "plucked" (ha ha) up the courage to get my eyebrows done again for the first time in a long while but he won't notice that either, because he didn't when I got them done for the first time ever. ) (Of course writing this here - which he does read occasionally - might just tip him off... so of course if he does say anything now, I will just say 'you're just saying that because you read it in my blog'... poor man)
I hurt my back a bit mowing on Monday morning - well, probably from shifting garden furniture. And so then my swimming class in the afternoon was a write-off, what with the back twingeing again, and legs that had nothing left in them after the 40km ride on Sunday (mainly mountain biking tracks - I worked hard).. It's true! They felt dead. Rather a weird feeling, and a bit peturbing. I felt like crying because I wasn't "altogether" and I wanted to be. Marc reckons it's all good, I must have worked really hard on the bike and that's the most important thing at the moment.
My back is ok today though - only a couple of twinges if I am not careful. So I am about to mow the front yard! Fool that I am, risking my back again. I know I could leave it for Marc, now that he'll be home in a couple of days, but we have limited weekend time with bike riding/training having to be squeezed in between kids' netball commitments, and the yard is waaaaay overdue for whipper snipping, and that's where I do draw the line at what my back can cope with. So he'll be whipper snipping on the weekend at some point I think. Welcome home darling.
I had another all day swimming carnival to attend yesterday. (Middle daughter did good again.. a couple of 1st places, and through to the next carnival in every event bar breastroke. It is at Lismore - about 2 and a half hours drive away- Thursday of next week. I am thinking the Daddy can take her to that one...and he did suggest it.) I am still amazed at how tired you can get just hanging around all day, and how much of a 'touch of sun' you can get despite mainly sitting in the shade and only jumping up to watch the events your kids are in.
The house is still a debacle, because I still keep putting the housework stuff off. I would rather mow the yard than wash up. Is there any hope for me? (I think it is because something like mowing looks 'done' for just a bit longer than the washing up does... )
I also have to work out how to go about this afternoon's schedule. Touch for 2 kids 4.30 - 5.30. Parent teacher meeting at school at 6.00. Debate whether to cadge lift for eldest into town for netball (game time 7.30 - 8.30) or go solo. But I did it last week.. well, I did the drop off, because the other girl was being precious about the remote chance of being 2 minutes late - Caitlin finishing touch at 5.30, and them having a 6.30 game. Despite having a team of 11 to rotate playing 7 positions so if we were a few minutes late it wouldn't matter... and then we bloody beat her into the courts ANYWAY! So I have sent a text asking for them to take Cait, but also offering to get her to and from a drop off point so I am not inconveniencing them too much by them having to drive out of their way twice as far as I drive out of my way to pick up and drop their daughter off... NO! I am not at all narky about any of this, particularly when parent concerned is the one who upset me at the netball committee meeting...)
*takes a breath*
And I have to figure out how and what to cook and have for dinner in the middle of it all. Sometimes I get myself all in a knot over such trivialities and blow it all out of all proportion in my mind.
One day I'll get it all together. Maybe. If body and mind don't gang up and let me down completely in the meantime.
Labels: daily, introspection
Comments:
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I found your comment about blowing trivialities out of proportion really thought-provoking. I had the sudden thought that, we cope with what we can cope with. We get a handle on the big stuff, we're doing okay but we've reached our limit, and then something small puts us over the edge.
And we forget about all the big things that, let's say, filled up our coping quota, and think we're lunatics because we started sobbing our eyes out when we accidentally spilled something in the kitchen.
It's human nature to focus on what we're not doing instead of what we are. I wish I could get the knack of rejoicing over what I -have- accomplished rather than beating myself up for what I haven't.
Frankly, if I did half as much as you do in a day, I'd be jumping for joy and shouting out the window how wonderful I am. =)
And we forget about all the big things that, let's say, filled up our coping quota, and think we're lunatics because we started sobbing our eyes out when we accidentally spilled something in the kitchen.
It's human nature to focus on what we're not doing instead of what we are. I wish I could get the knack of rejoicing over what I -have- accomplished rather than beating myself up for what I haven't.
Frankly, if I did half as much as you do in a day, I'd be jumping for joy and shouting out the window how wonderful I am. =)
You mean your 'done list' isn't working as well as it should in theory?!!
I'm still capable of wasting hours sitting reading blogs - so I'm not really deserving of the right to shout about being wonderful!
I'm still capable of wasting hours sitting reading blogs - so I'm not really deserving of the right to shout about being wonderful!
Yep! You are one busy lady alright.
My house would be a debarcle if I did half of what you do.
And good on you with your fitness regime. The fitness people don't say you look like you are toned and have lost weight to just anyone - believe me! Hope hubby hasn't read your blog and tell you you're gorgeous anyway. We girls need to hear it every now and again - even if we defect their sweet gesture with a "rubbish!" straight afterward - poor guys indeed!
My house would be a debarcle if I did half of what you do.
And good on you with your fitness regime. The fitness people don't say you look like you are toned and have lost weight to just anyone - believe me! Hope hubby hasn't read your blog and tell you you're gorgeous anyway. We girls need to hear it every now and again - even if we defect their sweet gesture with a "rubbish!" straight afterward - poor guys indeed!
Oh I may need a lie down after your post - I may have strained my reading organ.
Dash it, Trace, you are really making us slackers sit up and groan - and I recognise the committee woman in you, as it is a part of me I am valiantly denying. You can win that war, Tracey, you just HAVE to work hard at it!!!!
Dash it, Trace, you are really making us slackers sit up and groan - and I recognise the committee woman in you, as it is a part of me I am valiantly denying. You can win that war, Tracey, you just HAVE to work hard at it!!!!
Gosh.. I feel like I must have been fishing for compliments or something... when I'm not at all! (I just wear my heart on my sleeve, and try to convince myself that I'm doing "OK".)
What I do seem to be good at is attracting wonderfully nice and supportive people to write in my comments!
What I do seem to be good at is attracting wonderfully nice and supportive people to write in my comments!
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