Thursday, October 05, 2006



I tend to run either on full throttle, or barely at all. I wish I could find the in-between; some sort of balance.

Tomorrow morning we have wild plans to get up before 6 am, and meet a friend to ride down the highway (Marc and me on the road tandem - a 44km return ride... like I said, tends to be all or nothing with me...)

It's school holidays, with nothing planned for the whole 2 weeks, apart from bike riding on the weekend. The kids and I are all lolling around, sleeping in, and spending far too much time on the computer. There is probably no reason why holidays shouldn't be like that.. but if that's the case, why do I feel guilty?!

I told myself that today I would at least do a walk up the beach. Looked up the tide times. Low tide was 12.20 or thereabouts. Perfect. Go at around 11.00. Sounds simple enough.

Conscience kicks in. Should get the kids up and at 'em as well, shouldn't I. Zoe should be doing some bike riding. They all should be doing something active. (Thing is, now they are old enough that I can leave them at home for reasonable periods in the day time.. so I should just be selfish and take myself. Maybe then I would have the HLEE's zipping around inside me, and I would come up with terrific ideas on how to get them a-happening as well.)

Caitlin emerges from the mother of all sleep ins (something she specialises in ).. and puts the TV on to watch shows she'd recorded last night. Like House. And (bloody) Simpsons. And so I watch out of the corner of my eye as well. Duh.

And now it's after 1pm. Lunchtime. (I made myself a healthy, grainy bread sandwich - one gold star in an otherwise pathetic performance.)

And they finally started on making a card for friends who just had a baby. (I'm a bit of a nutter when it comes to cards... I'm not a big fan of them - part of me doesn't even see the point of them... but when I give them I like to give homemade ones, particularly when I have such clever artistically inclined children... go figure...) And with Caitlin's art skills skyrocketing of late, I have, of course, high expectations!

I am not game to leave them right now in case the uneasy truce and nice 'working together' vibes shatter. (As they started I had Zoe crying at Caitlin: "Stop telling me what to do.. I'm not a baby you know.")

This morning I did register us to do the Sydney Spring Cycle.. and sorted our accommodation for the Gong Ride. (Took a whole 15 mins max, but I'll claim it as my main achievement for the day.)

the kids being arty crafty is a good thing.. right? So they are achieving something. And in a few minutes I am going to go get my joggers on, and power walk out that door. (Right after I've sorted out the 'situation' that has blown up in the time it's taken me to type this... #2 child storming off upstairs in a tizzy throwing emotional accusations back at #1 "You never let me do things!")

My fault again? Setting too high a standard for the card?

Sometimes you wonder if you can ever get things right...

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