Tuesday, May 15, 2007
No care, no responsibility
The Teenager is not very popular around here over a few things, which can all be pretty much summed up as Attitude. I am assuming that it is all relatively normal teenage type behaviour, and while I know it could be a lot, lot worse, it is driving me nuts.
Her latest "excuses" for anything are "I didn't mean to".. and ... "I forgot". Which in her eyes are an automatic get out of jail free card. If she says she didn't mean to do something, or that she forgot then we have no right to take her to task on it. Translated: Shut up Mum. Shut up Dad. I'll do what I want (until I want something that is).
"I didn't MEAN to get paint on my school uniform". Systematically, every shirt and pair of pants is being ruined because she does Art at school. "Don't you cover up?" I ask. "Please cover up." The answer is this vague "I do", but it's obvious that she doesn't. And that she couldn't actually give a stuff. One pair of navy pants covered in white paint? Oh well, whatever.. actually, Mum, these are getting tight on me, I think I need a bigger size. Two out of three light blue shirts now have yellow and red paint on them so that they look like art shirts now. Very expensive bloody art shirts.
I tell her that this is not good enough... to ruin clothes like this, and she shrugs. She didn't MEAN to, so ... like... whatever, and stop nagging me about it.
Parent-teacher interviews are on this week, and the system is that a few weeks earlier the kids get timesheets, and they have to approach each teacher to schedule a 5 minute interview time. OK, we'd like to see every teacher, so please get in and get interviews. She has systematically "forgotten" each day, after getting only English and Photography. The maths or science teacher insisted that the form be signed beforehand by a parent as an indication that we are aware and serious about being there (though for the life of me I can't see a kid scheduling an interview without being nagged about it by their parent.) So she 'forgot' to get us to sign it, then blamed us for not signing it, and still tried to use that excuse AFTER I had signed it. Two days she had!
When pushed then she counters with I FORGOT, ALRIGHT! And how dare you be cross with me because I just FORGOT.
I am still working on how to effectively dish out the same thing to her to make her realise how overboard she is being. Anything I can think of would either be neglectful parenting (like - I forgot to make enough dinner for you!)... or would backfire (she would wear unironed clothes if I forgot to iron hers!)
Any ideas? Help!!!
Her latest "excuses" for anything are "I didn't mean to".. and ... "I forgot". Which in her eyes are an automatic get out of jail free card. If she says she didn't mean to do something, or that she forgot then we have no right to take her to task on it. Translated: Shut up Mum. Shut up Dad. I'll do what I want (until I want something that is).
"I didn't MEAN to get paint on my school uniform". Systematically, every shirt and pair of pants is being ruined because she does Art at school. "Don't you cover up?" I ask. "Please cover up." The answer is this vague "I do", but it's obvious that she doesn't. And that she couldn't actually give a stuff. One pair of navy pants covered in white paint? Oh well, whatever.. actually, Mum, these are getting tight on me, I think I need a bigger size. Two out of three light blue shirts now have yellow and red paint on them so that they look like art shirts now. Very expensive bloody art shirts.
I tell her that this is not good enough... to ruin clothes like this, and she shrugs. She didn't MEAN to, so ... like... whatever, and stop nagging me about it.
Parent-teacher interviews are on this week, and the system is that a few weeks earlier the kids get timesheets, and they have to approach each teacher to schedule a 5 minute interview time. OK, we'd like to see every teacher, so please get in and get interviews. She has systematically "forgotten" each day, after getting only English and Photography. The maths or science teacher insisted that the form be signed beforehand by a parent as an indication that we are aware and serious about being there (though for the life of me I can't see a kid scheduling an interview without being nagged about it by their parent.) So she 'forgot' to get us to sign it, then blamed us for not signing it, and still tried to use that excuse AFTER I had signed it. Two days she had!
When pushed then she counters with I FORGOT, ALRIGHT! And how dare you be cross with me because I just FORGOT.
I am still working on how to effectively dish out the same thing to her to make her realise how overboard she is being. Anything I can think of would either be neglectful parenting (like - I forgot to make enough dinner for you!)... or would backfire (she would wear unironed clothes if I forgot to iron hers!)
Any ideas? Help!!!
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I think my daughter is a premature teenager, cause she sure sounds like that at 7 1/2 - especially this morning.
Just think, you have two more. Scary. My sister did say that all three of hers were different at that age.
Perhaps it just gets easier.
I don't think you can do anything but hang on, try and ignore as much as possible and keep smiling. Time appears to be the only cure.
The smiling has been know to drive them mad.
Feel for you T.
Perhaps it just gets easier.
I don't think you can do anything but hang on, try and ignore as much as possible and keep smiling. Time appears to be the only cure.
The smiling has been know to drive them mad.
Feel for you T.
This one has always been more like *that* than the other two. So I can only hope that the other two are just a wee bit more reasonable. After all, I was! :D
Oh my gawd - I am SO not the person to ask advice on parenting girl teenagers. I have NO IDEA what I'm doing.
I've done this before, tho - if she "forgets" to put her laundry in the laundry room, it doesn't get done. If she leaves a wet towel on her bed after she showers, it stays there. Too bad. If she forgets to put dishes away when they are clean, nobody eats supper until it gets done.
When it comes to school? I use email as my weapon of choice. It is the only way I can keep up with everything at school - and even then, stuff falls through the cracks.
I've done this before, tho - if she "forgets" to put her laundry in the laundry room, it doesn't get done. If she leaves a wet towel on her bed after she showers, it stays there. Too bad. If she forgets to put dishes away when they are clean, nobody eats supper until it gets done.
When it comes to school? I use email as my weapon of choice. It is the only way I can keep up with everything at school - and even then, stuff falls through the cracks.
We have just started on this pre-pubescant trail. In fact, I just wrote my own blog about it. After reading yours, I've decided that we have a long way to go! Hmmmmm...can we just jump to 18 now please!!!?? Lol!
Does she absolutely have to have uniforms with no paint on them? Or can she wear the messy ones unless she feels like buying her own? we buy our kids a certain amount of clothes, and if they mess them up or do anything to them other than outgrowing them, they have to buy their own.
Of course, this is boys I'm talking about. they tell me girls are different creatures altogether.
Maybe the best thing to do is keep a bottle of Shiraz on hand for emergencies.
Of course, this is boys I'm talking about. they tell me girls are different creatures altogether.
Maybe the best thing to do is keep a bottle of Shiraz on hand for emergencies.
This is a school uniform we are talking about, that's all. Compulsory attire. Fortunately for her/me already the school isn't too strict on it - unlike most private schools and, I daresay, city public schools. Something about being in a regional area and on the coast....
I suppose, actually, that's not so much the point, as is her disregard for things. Easy come, easy go. Not her money. Point is, I could have handed them down to the next one, and now I can't expect her to wear paint covered pants.
I suppose, actually, that's not so much the point, as is her disregard for things. Easy come, easy go. Not her money. Point is, I could have handed them down to the next one, and now I can't expect her to wear paint covered pants.
Adding:
NG.. this email contact with the schools appears to be more advanced in the US than here, just from what you just said, plus reading other blogs. No teacher has ever offered email support, and the primary school! I once sent an email to inform them about something and the Nazi in the office told me that she only looks at email around 2pm.
As you'll see from my next post, the parent teacher evening (5 min chat) is the only contact. Which was worthwhile last night, even if we didn't get to see every teacher.
Brissiemum! Hello to another Aussie! (How did you chance upon my blog? ).. I have heard it called 'the long tunnel of adolescence' in which we might hope to greet them at the other end. Intact. My eldest has always been more feisty and firey.. if the other two start getting like her I will be either an alcoholic, or insane by the time they hit 18.
NG.. this email contact with the schools appears to be more advanced in the US than here, just from what you just said, plus reading other blogs. No teacher has ever offered email support, and the primary school! I once sent an email to inform them about something and the Nazi in the office told me that she only looks at email around 2pm.
As you'll see from my next post, the parent teacher evening (5 min chat) is the only contact. Which was worthwhile last night, even if we didn't get to see every teacher.
Brissiemum! Hello to another Aussie! (How did you chance upon my blog? ).. I have heard it called 'the long tunnel of adolescence' in which we might hope to greet them at the other end. Intact. My eldest has always been more feisty and firey.. if the other two start getting like her I will be either an alcoholic, or insane by the time they hit 18.
Oh sounds fairly typical of a teen girl, though I am sure my Miss 14 wouldnt agree with me as she likes to think SHE thought of everything first!
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