Saturday, April 14, 2007


I don't know about "Gorgeous".. but...

OK, so my mate Misc Mum has started another 'self-reflection' prompt type challenge thingy for blog posts. She's called it "Hello Gorgeous". The idea is to find a photo of yourself from any age, a photo that you like. One you are "Truly happy with", to quote MM:

"The picture could have red-eye, be blurry or slightly distorted, but there will be a look on your face that you recognize as you: true and unadulterated."

Me being me, of course, I couldn't relate at all to ever feeling "gorgeous".. Could be a reflection of starting to feel my age - dealing with the onset of wrinkles, and looking, oh, about 20 years older than I did 20 years ago? Or maybe because of some of the shit I'm going through emotionally right now... I'm not sure. I immediately posted a 'woe is me' comment, wailing that I've never related to ever feeling 'gorgeous'.

After a cup of tea, a bex and a good lie down (ok, well, just the nap -I got up at 5 am to go bike riding ok!).. and then sussing out MM's own example, I decided I needed to follow through with the project, for the sake of my self esteem - even if I still couldn't relate to the pink button! Too girlie!! (Yes! Sorry! Even though my daughter made it for her!!!)

This is the photo I have chosen.

I didn't really intend to go back to that age, where I'd just get wistful over my lost youth.. but this one does capture a time when I was really happy and carefree, almost as if I'd discovered the meaning of life. Maybe I had. The meaning of my life, anyway.

It was taken around 1987 or 1988 when I was twenty something. I'd finished college, was working, finally independent, and after feeling like the proverbial square peg (trying to fit in and have a 'good time' the way everyone else did) I'd met people (and one person in particular) who showed me how to have a good time doing a range of amazing and challenging things outdoors. We used to spend most weekends and holidays out bush somewhere.. In summer we'd spend a lot of weekends canyoning and this photo was taken when we were eating lunch in the middle of a canyon. We'd brought yoghurt, but forgotten the spoons, so we were improvising with orange peel. And I think, from memory it was just before doing a very memorable, free fall abseil - the canyon was called, most appropriately "Heart Attack"!

Hmmm, still makes me wistful. Slimmer, younger... *sighs*. But not 'girlie' !! And anytime I manage to get back out somewhere like a canyon, my inner self still does feel as happy as I look in this photo.

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This comment has been removed by the author.
T, that was me who deleted that 1st one this morning. I effed it up and didn't have time to come back.

Just saying now though that I loved this photo! I haven't seen one of you this young before. Eldest is starting to resemble you....

Loved the story too - even if it's not 'girlie' ;) ;)
OMG, that's really scary to think that my eldest is closer to the age I am in that photo than I am now.

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