Saturday, April 14, 2007
I don't know about "Gorgeous".. but...
"The picture could have red-eye, be blurry or slightly distorted, but there will be a look on your face that you recognize as you: true and unadulterated."
Me being me, of course, I couldn't relate at all to ever feeling "gorgeous".. Could be a reflection of starting to feel my age - dealing with the onset of wrinkles, and looking, oh, about 20 years older than I did 20 years ago? Or maybe because of some of the shit I'm going through emotionally right now... I'm not sure. I immediately posted a 'woe is me' comment, wailing that I've never related to ever feeling 'gorgeous'.
After a cup of tea, a bex and a good lie down (ok, well, just the nap -I got up at 5 am to go bike riding ok!).. and then sussing out MM's own example, I decided I needed to follow through with the project, for the sake of my self esteem - even if I still couldn't relate to the pink button! Too girlie!! (Yes! Sorry! Even though my daughter made it for her!!!)
This is the photo I have chosen.
I didn't really intend to go back to that age, where I'd just get wistful over my lost youth.. but this one does capture a time when I was really happy and carefree, almost as if I'd discovered the meaning of life. Maybe I had. The meaning of my life, anyway.
It was taken around 1987 or 1988 when I was twenty something. I'd finished college, was working, finally independent, and after feeling like the proverbial square peg (trying to fit in and have a 'good time' the way everyone else did) I'd met people (and one person in particular) who showed me how to have a good time doing a range of amazing and challenging things outdoors. We used to spend most weekends and holidays out bush somewhere.. In summer we'd spend a lot of weekends canyoning and this photo was taken when we were eating lunch in the middle of a canyon. We'd brought yoghurt, but forgotten the spoons, so we were improvising with orange peel. And I think, from memory it was just before doing a very memorable, free fall abseil - the canyon was called, most appropriately "Heart Attack"!
Hmmm, still makes me wistful. Slimmer, younger... *sighs*. But not 'girlie' !! And anytime I manage to get back out somewhere like a canyon, my inner self still does feel as happy as I look in this photo.
Just saying now though that I loved this photo! I haven't seen one of you this young before. Eldest is starting to resemble you....
Loved the story too - even if it's not 'girlie' ;) ;)