Tuesday, November 27, 2007


You can check out any time you like.

Days like this.

When you feel like nothing you do is right or ever has been.

Where everything you've tried to raise your kids to do is in vain.

Where you realise that you can't ask them to do something without putting it in writing, in triplicate, six weeks in advance, and stapled to their goddamned foreheads - and then they will still say "I forgot".. or "I didn't hear you".. or "I was just about to do it." ... or "I was waiting for HER to do it."... or... I don't know the hell what else other excuse - there are so many - but most likely it was actually MY FAULT because apparently I tend to ask them to do things without checking that they are giving me their full and undivided attention. [FFS - they are NOT autistic - they don't have aspergers, or ADHD any other condition where there are neurological issues with attention.]

Where you incorrectly assume that 'yeah, yeah.. we got it, stop nagging' means that they have heard and understood what they have been asked to do.

Where your judgement is so warped you thought your 14 yr old daughter was responsible and mature enough to do the right thing with a social netball team she was organising. Where you thought she was mature enough to leave at the courts, so that you didn't have to get stuck in the netball clubhouse anymore this year. To the point where you were prepared to defend her without question over members of their team forgetting to sign on - but you find she's actually, really, more stupid than you thought - so now you will have to BE THERE to make sure they are doing the right thing.

Where not only (the other week) did she "forget" (in the space of one hour) the directive to 'stay and supervise the other team member who wanted to do umpire duty' but then she "forgot" to tell me that NOBODY stayed to do that duty, and their team was consequently fined $5, AND so I walked into a netball meeting with suggestions about how to improve the running of the comp (particularly in regard to information distribution) and I don't know this little detail about where my own daughter has stuffed up.

Where she thinks that I am outrageous for saying that she should pay the $5 all herself (because the only thing she can manage to organise is getting the rest of the team to pay for her neglect.)

Where people just don't get you over simple ideas like the need to provide registered players with a summary of the competition rules before they start playing - because that might be SPOON FEEDING them.... and shouldn't they all just KNOW IT anyway - and because there are so few people HELPING that therefore we shouldn't HAVE to SPOON FEED all these players.

Where getting involved with the kids' netball club - because you have a conscience and want to do a bit to help is just like walking into the Hotel California.

Because you can check out anytime you like, but you can never f***ing leave.


"you can't ask them to do something without putting it in writing, in triplicate, six weeks in advance..."

On the bright side... at least they can read. :)

I feel your frustration!
Be prepared. They don't learn quickly.

I think it they have to reach almost 20 before a responsible streak sets in.

Keep the wine handy. *grin*
Oh Trace - I am dead scared of netball and committees...

But a very witty and heartfelt post!
Very true cellobella. Funny how I never thought of that positive!!

Oh E. Please don't say 'almost 20'. I did want to have reined in my alcohol consumption by then.

You're right jeanie. Netball AND committee. A very scary combination. The worst part of it is that I never even played netball myself...
Easy - Don't. Do. Anything.

If she can't be arsed then why should you? That's what it is. Stop saving her and let her crash and brun with a few things.

And for the love of all that is HOLY, stop doing ANYTHING to do with that netball club apart from turning up to watch your girls play!!! Apart from maybe the web site if you still like doing that. If you don't, give that up too - for all the aggravation it causes you I think you have a moral obligation to your throbbing temples to give it up.

I'm sure there are plenty of other parents that don't do anything, join 'em!
HOney, you need a glass or three of good quality wine. It won't solve a thing but it will reduce your need to care.

I think maybe it's a teenage thing. I'm dealing with it, too, only mine has a 2-ton car involved.
Once I started working at Maccas at14yrs 9 months (legal age) I do believe I snapped out of a little of what you described.

I do feel for you though, hon!
I wish it was that easy, Jebus, but unfortunately it's not - not with such a small community organisation, and with your kids heavily involved in the netball - particularly the rep - and when you know that if you pull the pin entirely you are leaving an even greater workload for the few who are left... (to the point that if everyone who is tired does what I do, it will go down the gurgler...)
It's very hard to just walk away. I don't like becoming one of the slacko parents.. I just want to find a way to spread the load and encourage more parents to become involved, and I strongly believe that people are more likely to when they see a well-run, consistent organisation...

Anyway I was trying to step back (then badly misjudged my daughter's maturity), and it backfired in my face. My fault. I leapt to conclusions about the situation... and I did have a bit of a dummy spit about it. I will know better than to leap to conclusions about her maturity next time, that's for sure.

Have made daughter pay the full $5 of the missed umpiring fee - she's the default 'captain' of this team - and she has experienced my wrath in full flight!!

K, only problem with her getting a job is that I'll be the bunny having to drive her to and fro! Stuff that! Meantime, she and #2 are earning a small amount with a paper run two days every second week, and i refuse to get involved with getting them up, or helping them in anyway. All down to them. Won't even drive around the street with papers in the boot if it's raining!

Rootie: "It won't solve a thing but it will reduce your need to care." You are a very wise woman.

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