It's all a-happening. In 48 hours I can crash and burn and words can't describe how much I'm looking forward to doing that. I will have earned it, I believe, after having ridden around and around a velodrome for 24 hours or thereabouts.

As I've hurtled towards this... this... err.. challenge, I have seriously contemplated my sanity, suggested many times that I must have been drugged when I agreed to do it, and generally started working up into full blown anxiety.

I can't actually remember what I signed up to do first - the TAFE course, or the charity ride, but clearly, in hindsight, it has not been an easy or sensible partnership. Not when I also happen to have three children to wrangle the rest of the time.

As this week has loomed I've been muttering "But I need to ride. I need to ride" whenever I was in class, or sitting here researching stuff for presentations. Throw in a week of ill-health, and the panic begins to bubble. The sort of panic you'd get if you were going into an exam without having studied. (Well, some of us might relate to that.. my 15 year old daughter patently doesn't get that feeling, but I won't talk about that issue right now...)

Throw in another couple of days the next week with a kid (youngest) who is unwell and better off at home than school, thus preventing attending class OR cycling, and the anxiety wells...

I have done the TAFE work I needed to do, and put whatever I could on hold to complete over the holidays. (So in reality, I don't have much time to crash and burn after the ride at all!)

Last weekend we scheduled some serious training rides. 122km on Saturday morning, and .. you know that saying 'hit the wall'? *Smash*, I hit it. Totally and utterly stuffed. The 5.30am start didn't help... We were home by 11.30, in time to get to a netball presentation... and then I stumbled up to bed and slept for 2 hours in the late afternoon.

Sunday morning I didn't want to look at a bike, never mind get on and ride anymore... Much self talk saw me reluctantly and sulkily clambering on the back of the tandem again; we only did 45km, albeit incorporating a 3km hill. Most of that I was brushing back tears; it was only the adrenalin rush of some fast tandem downhills that perked me up any - plus forcing down one of those energy gels.

I decided that it might be wise not to ride this week.

I did go out and buy some very expensive bike nix with the most awesome padding, which I hope will protect not only those pressure points that suffer most, but *whispers* my.. er... front bits which have been suffering in a way I would never have imagined...

Meanwhile, as luck, karma, Murphy's Law... or whatever.. would have it... guess what is due to start anytime...? Which means (especially the way my peri-menopausal body is doing stuff on a random and ad hoc basis these days) that I'm doing the usual emotional PMS-y build-up thing. You know, ladies. That feeling that your menfolk do not have a clue about, do not relate to, do not understand in any way...? That feeling you want to cry for no reason. The rising anxiety over anything... which means that if you have something that's bordering on 'reasonable' to be anxious or nervous about, then... woot! Happy days... er, not.

Naturally, I am a wee bit anxious about my ability to sit on a bike for 24 hours. Minus the breaks of course. Breaks? 10 minutes every 2 hours, and a half hour break in the evening?! (All the riders ride together you see...)
WTF?!! 10 minutes is barely enough time to go to the loo normally.. never mind if I am dealing with you-know-what. (Never mind the added issues thus related...)

Yes. I am anxious. Please, please, PLEASE don't let it start.

Today I am trying to get organised... and I am anxious about all of that too. Anxious for anxious sakes. Because not only do we have to get ourselves sorted, we have three kids to wrangle! We have to take a tent and sleeping gear for them, so they can go sleep while we are riding through the night. We also agreed to take our triple bike down there for a display... so that has to be sorted. I am about to make fried rice so we have some extra food to shovel in, plus something for the kids. Dinner tonight of course, as well.

All in a good cause. This IS to raise money for ROMAC - a Rotary charity that brings kids from developing countries to Australia for life-saving and life-changing surgery. Puts all my anxiety and woes into a bit of perspective. And trust me... I wouldn't be doing this insane ride if it wasn't for charity.

There is no specific online donation method, but if anyone would like to bolster our fundraising efforts, I would love you to bits. I got the required $500 sponsorship from a local company Arc Attack Engineering, who are amazingly generous when it comes to supporting community endeavours. But I'm working on matching that with personal donations, as I'd like to think we could raise $1000 for our efforts. I am a couple of hundred off achieving that.

You'd have to send me a cheque made out to ROMAC, or deposit in my bank account, and I'd send you back the official receipt. (Tax deductions for $2 or over (in Oz anyway..)... but you'd have to make it worth the 55c postage stamp! ) If it's the right timing for you to make a donation to a worthwhile charity, send me an email trace at exemail dot com dot au and I'll send you either my address or bank account details... and get your address to send you back the receipt.

If you can't, no sweat, no pressure. Just pray to whatever goddess, spirit, moon, or whatever for me that 'you know what' doesn't start till after!

See you when I wake up after it's all over...

Labels: bike riding, daily