Cleaning has never been a strong point with me. If you've managed to wade through more than a few of my blog posts you will certainly have picked that up by now. Right now, though, I am beyond the whingeing and whining stage. I am genuinely freaked out about myself.

Is there an Inability to Clean disease? Or more likely, is there a Cleaning gene? And if so, is there something defective with mine? Could it be one of those recessive gene manifestations, or is mine missing altogether?

I have always suspected there was something hereditary in it - my mother was never an obsessive housekeeper.. and my father is an accumulator of Stuff. (Bring on the nature/nurture debate - and anything else I can blame on my childhood!) But, no, she was never this bad. And as my sister is doing more than a fair job of keeping her house in shape it can't all be down to some deficiency in our upbringing. (She did marry a guy who I believe has classic OCD though, which may have had some impact.)

But, seriously. HELP! What is wrong with me? I can't clean. Well, I try, but my attempts are feeble. I am crap at it. I avoid it. And I'm getting worse. I am at the point where I am wondering if it is a genuine medical condition or disability - like adult onset diabetes. Or a symptom of some other sinister condition.

The biggest indicator that it might be a genetic thing is that through three pregnancies, I never ever got that 'nesting' thing that is generally accepted for mothers to have with the impending arrival of a baby. Never got it. Ever. I always felt a bit deficient somehow because of it, although my babies never seemed to have suffered unduly from my lack of obsessively spring cleaning the house whilst 39 weeks pregnant. (Except that now I can see genetics in action, as they all display similar symptoms.)

Yes, I feel sure I have always had it, but as a mild case, which has not really affected my ability to cope in every day life. Right now, however, I am having an acute attack which is manifesting itself in a paralysis to do with anything 'cleaning'. The state of the house is spiralling out of control here, and while I am fully aware of it, I feel incapable of acting upon it.

Perhaps it is an addiction (they can be genetic too can't they?) That is if there is such a thing as an addiction for not doing something.

My questions are,whether disease, or genetic condition: Is it treatable? Is there medication for it? Or perhaps a behavioural programme (a 12 step plan?).. ?? Whatever it is, I need help.

~~~~~
This afternoon: A very slow 6 km ride with Zoe, where I do believe we 'turned the corner' in regard to her bike riding confidence. We rode all the way to her school and back, as well as round the block here a couple of times. So now we have Plans!! To ride to school! And home again! I will ride with her, and meet her at the school gate at the end of school. Huzzah!!

The bike fits in the car, so no excuses for getting up nearly 4 hours earlier than I have been to ride in sub-10 degree temperature. It WILL feel great once I am there and riding.

Labels: housework