Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Why is it so?
How come the only time my two oldest girls get on with each other is half an hour (to an hour) after I've started nagging them to go to bed? They get upstairs, and suddenly they are as thick as thieves. Often at my expense, finding some little thing about their mother to find hilarious - mimicking something I've said or done. (Tonight it was all about the goodnight "peck" they got instead of a loving embrace, because I was so cheesed off with them that they were taking (again) so long to go to bed!)
Sometimes one might even be found in the other's bedroom which has usually been declared off-limits to the other. For some reason, when avoiding bed, a ceasefire is declared, and they suddenly find themselves as allies instead of combatants.
The rest of the time these days, they are incapable of showing any form of sisterly-ness at all! Like, you'd never get them to stand, say, with their arms around each other for a photo. No 'see ya' hugs or kisses. No casual, matey, sisterly arms flung around each other. Not since... hmmm... well, I went looking for a photo, and this one from back in 2002 would be close to the last one there is of any voluntary 'arms round each other-ness' for a photo.
As I peruse the archives, it seems to me that over the years they both turned their sisterly devotions to their baby sister, who, in most photos, is conveniently wedged between them.
They are now getting less demonstrative with Zoe, who, at nearly 9, still wants that affection from them - and some nights has to chase them around the loungeroom for a goodnight kiss, as they duck and weave to avoid it.
I know it's nothing that I can change, but it doesn't stop me wondering about it all. (It's not as if we have strong 'familyness' genes that we have passed on to them - neither Marc nor I are particularly close to our siblings.)
I just discovered, though, that I had to go back a couple of years to find a photo of the three of them together. I wonder if it is just a fairly normal thing as one hits teenagehood, and the next one is a 'tweenager', or whether something has changed in the family dynamics.... (And I suppose photos don't tell the whole story either..)
In the meantime, I suppose I should be thankful that there are still times when they do get on. Even if it is at my expense. At night. When I want them to go to bloody bed!!
Sometimes one might even be found in the other's bedroom which has usually been declared off-limits to the other. For some reason, when avoiding bed, a ceasefire is declared, and they suddenly find themselves as allies instead of combatants.
The rest of the time these days, they are incapable of showing any form of sisterly-ness at all! Like, you'd never get them to stand, say, with their arms around each other for a photo. No 'see ya' hugs or kisses. No casual, matey, sisterly arms flung around each other. Not since... hmmm... well, I went looking for a photo, and this one from back in 2002 would be close to the last one there is of any voluntary 'arms round each other-ness' for a photo.
As I peruse the archives, it seems to me that over the years they both turned their sisterly devotions to their baby sister, who, in most photos, is conveniently wedged between them.
They are now getting less demonstrative with Zoe, who, at nearly 9, still wants that affection from them - and some nights has to chase them around the loungeroom for a goodnight kiss, as they duck and weave to avoid it.
I know it's nothing that I can change, but it doesn't stop me wondering about it all. (It's not as if we have strong 'familyness' genes that we have passed on to them - neither Marc nor I are particularly close to our siblings.)
I just discovered, though, that I had to go back a couple of years to find a photo of the three of them together. I wonder if it is just a fairly normal thing as one hits teenagehood, and the next one is a 'tweenager', or whether something has changed in the family dynamics.... (And I suppose photos don't tell the whole story either..)
In the meantime, I suppose I should be thankful that there are still times when they do get on. Even if it is at my expense. At night. When I want them to go to bloody bed!!
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I have a hard time getting my kids together for a picture now. They're 19,17,16 and 8, and just too busy doing their own things to be bothered with one another. They get along, and do things together (well, the 17 and 16 yr old do), but just not like when they were 6,4 and 3. I think it just menas they're turning into thier own people with peculiar likes and all.
Ah - another joy to have an only - if an when there is any addition, I am hoping 'Salina will step in with babysitting!!!
I had quite a few difficulties with my sister during that stage (an for about another 10 years) but was okay with my brother.
Amazingly, it seems to have reversed since becoming one generation older - don't think there is any magic formula, just hope they will stick by each other if needed in the future.
I had quite a few difficulties with my sister during that stage (an for about another 10 years) but was okay with my brother.
Amazingly, it seems to have reversed since becoming one generation older - don't think there is any magic formula, just hope they will stick by each other if needed in the future.
i often wonder why this happens in a family, why do the hugs and kisses stop and whose job is it to encourage it to keep going (if it's anyones job at all?)
i envy the families that can keep it going into adulthood, those that have found their individual identities but haven't lost their sense of family togetherness (does that make sense?)
i envy the families that can keep it going into adulthood, those that have found their individual identities but haven't lost their sense of family togetherness (does that make sense?)
Yep, perfect sense shish! You've read between the lines and expressed exactly what I was wondering. Yet, as rootie says, to some extent, much of it is just a normal progression....
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