Wednesday, November 29, 2006


La plus ça change...

Same old, same old. Phone call from Marc in KL yesterday afternoon. When he rang me on the mobile, I kind of suspected what it was about. Delayed return again. Now not back till Saturday.

(So much for the endless platitudes that emanate every year (usually at the work Christmas 'do') that they are aiming for the away work to be shared around so it isn't such an impact on those with families...)

It must depend where I am at in my biorhythms or whatever. Sometimes when this happens I get all teary. Sometimes I get really angry (and take it out on everything around me.) I used to take it out on him, but I realise that he can't help what happens, and we are stuck in this job till some epiphany happens to lead us to an alternative. (Still doesn't stop me making "comments" about how sucky it is.)

Yesterday I just sighed.. and felt really flat. Numb, really. Ripped off - yet another weekend has been stuffed up. I had been looking forward to us going in to the community ride in Coffs on Saturday morning. Never mind all the Stuff we need to talk about. House plans. Christmas holiday plans.... and the Stuff we need to do around here.

It is lucky I am not one of these super-organised housewives who have the meals planned ahead for a week - I don't even know what we are going to have tonight! (He already had the taxi booked for getting to the airport this morning, then things changed.)

It is not an ideal way to live - this working away thing. The separations. I think it pushes me into some depressive tendencies.. a daily lethargy... where I do the minimum to get us through the day - as some sort of protest or something. I don't know. (Maybe I am just looking for excuses.)
I often say that the only reason I cope with the switches from Daddy/Husband here to Daddy/Husband away is that I am so disorganised, there is no status quo to be affected.

At least I do miss him. While he has the worst housewife in the world in me, at least he has someone who, after 21 years together (17 and a half of those married), still so wants to be with him.

Lucky I have never kept a record of all the time he has spent away... I am sure it would, cumulatively, add up to more than a year... easy. That's a sad fact.



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